Bliss of Innocence

Playtime was something that was part of my everyday during early middle school. Those lunchtime breaks usually ended with full lunch boxes and thoroughly exhausted kids. Never realized when the playtime in our lives just disappeared in the race to get ahead.

Today, when I think of playtime it probably happens once or twice in a year. It usually includes an arcade where we mostly ended up going bowling but sometimes we do go crazy with the VR games :). Playtime for me always is the time where I laugh without the fears or burden of the world. In that moment I just enjoy what is in front of me without any judgements.

They may call on my inappropriate behavior for my age but that’s alright I just made a core memory to remind me of the lighter side of life.

Bloganuary writing prompt
Do you play in your daily life? What says “playtime” to you?

To Change or Not to Change

I wish to change literally everything in my life. I wish I took care of my health when I was younger, I wish that I had not said mean things to people, I wish I had learnt the value of family over career, I wish that I learnt not to trust everyone..

I wish I could just erase all the bad things in life that has happened. But, on the other hand I believe that it was because of my life circumstances I made a lot of significant choices in my life. Do I love everything about my life?… No. And do I really wan to change it?.. No Again.

With everything horrible that has happened in my life came the memories that I cherish. I met people who hurt me but I also met people who love me. I failed at a lot of things in my life but I also achieved the most amazing things that I could only dream of.

So, I don’t want anything different. It may be frustrating and infuriating but my life has made me stronger and a better person. I may not love it all day but some moments of joy in the day is enough.

Daily writing prompt
What could you do differently?

Stay Humble

Empty vessels make more noise – We have all heard I from our childhood but now I understand what it really means.

I have worked with a lot of different leaders and I have noticed one thing, the ones truly have impacted me as leaders were the ones who did not throw around their weight. They always came a step down and connected with their subordinates. They were willing to learn things they don’t know from people less experienced than themselves and they constantly encouraged people to shine.

So all the other traits of being a great leader aside, “Humility” is the best quality a leader can have. And their humility always inhibits the feeling of sincerity and loyalty among the team.

Daily writing prompt
What makes a good leader?

Crash, Burn and Rise Again

It’s kind of like the “mantra” I keep telling myself. For a long time I only crashed and burned. I tried and the moment I hit failure I gave up. I kept saying to myself, maybe it’s not for me or there are people way better that me they deserve me it more, I did not make enough effort, and so on…

I chose to accept my failures as my stopping point. But life goes on.. It does not matter to anyone that I failed. People will gladly walk over you to get to where they want to get to. So fail miserably, fail embarrassingly, fail pathetically and let them laugh and sneer at you. But get back up for yourself, not to prove the world wrong but to prove yourself wrong. You will get there a day later but you will get there.

However, make sure that you do not burn someone else path getting there. Make only your negative self the victim of your achievements and on the way encourage others to forge paths to their dreams.

Daily writing prompt
If you had a freeway billboard, what would it say?

So Many Possibilities

My dream job has always changed time after time. Sometimes even on the same day! I wanted to be a pilot, join the army… and so on. But one dream job that has remained constant in my list of dream job was that of a Writer.

Writing always makes me feel better. When I felt that I could not speak to my family, I used to write down my feelings. And things always felt more bearable. Other than the poems that I have written over the years I also have written outline/plots for 2 novels but the procrastinator in me has never let me actually write them. And as time went by it just became harder and harder and now my novel outline gather dust in the corner of my cupboard. Some day I will get to it.

Writing aside, I am not gonna limit my dreams, I can be a writer, a painter, a business owner, a chef, a baker and I am gonna keep adding on. I may not achieve any of it but that is okay. I am just glad that I have learnt to dream again.

For an ending note, heard Sleep specialist is a job. I wouldn’t mind giving a go at that too! 🙂

Daily writing prompt
What’s your dream job?

More Money More Problems

When do you say you have too much money? A lottery would count but when I think of that, being of finance background the first thing I think about is the tax. And then, I go into a spiral of thinking how I would need to invest it to save on that.

But leaving reality aside, I would want to build me a House. I want that house to have a reading room, an office space for me to to work in, an art room for me to go crazy.. but then reality steps back in. Who is going to clean up all of these rooms?

Closer to reality, I would want to make a Trust that would sponsor someone’s education and also let them have a small allowance to enjoy their special experiences like prom, graduation, birthday parties. I may not be uber rich but I am privileged, my parents may not have given me luxuries in life but I had always what I needed. I would like someone have that opportunity, to just be happy even if it’s just for a fleeting moment.

So, I believe the answer would be to buy for someone a happy memory.

Daily writing prompt
What would you do if you won the lottery?

Optimum Happiness

When I think of fun it is always associated with happiness. And I am the most happiest when I do these 5 things:

Buying/ Organizing Stationary – I love stationary. They give me so much joy and over the years I have become some what of a hoarder. I hope to continue growing my collection over the and maybe someday gift it to a younger version of me just starting out.

Painting/ Sketching – Art.. any kind of it always calms me down. It calms all the turmoils in my mind and appreciate what it there right in front of me

Writing – Words have always been my companion. It always was a drain to my sorrows. Once I pen the words to paper it just makes like a little bit more bearable. At the end of it, I feel that I can breathe again.

Long Rides on a Dewy morning – I love traveling on my bike but it becomes especially amazing when I we take a ride in the morning air. The air seems more fresh and if there is dew then it almost seems like snow hitting your face. It’s just amazing.

Watching movies in an Empty Theatre – It doesn’t matter if the movie is good or bad I just enjoy the experience of it. Sitting in the center of the the theatre (the best seat per Sheldon) and munching away on nachos and making crazy noises with no one around to hush you.

Daily writing prompt
List five things you do for fun.

Danger

My pup is probably one on the most whackiest and hyper pet one can have. He became a part of my family a little over ten years ago but he still has his personality. In other terms, age has not given him any sought of maturity.

I don’t know if science would back me, but according to me he understands emotions. I think the first time I realized this was when I was upset one day and he abandoned his usual crazy zoomies and chose to just calmly come and sit in my lap. And just like that the world became a better place.

So when I think about something I wished he could understand is probably the word “Danger”. He generally timid but he was also the one that was hitting around a baby Cobra when he was just a pup. I screamed on the top of my voice but he kept going at it. I had to run the other way around and sit on the ground to have him abandon his opponent and come away. He is the one that would go into danger if it would keep me out of it. But sometimes, I just want to yell danger and I wish he would just run away from it with me.

But that is pets for you. They understand love, anger, sadness.. but when you expect them to understand danger they would gladly chose to ignore it as long as they can keep you safe.

Daily writing prompt
If you could make your pet understand one thing, what would it be?

Fears and Opinions

When I think of things I am scared about, the list seems endless. There are the common ones like siting in a room that has a spider on the wall, the jumping insects grasshoppers in particular, the list could go on.

However, the one thing that I have always feared is to be the centre of attention. Over my lifetime I have developed my own set of insecurities on the way I look, the way I dress, well mostly what people would call superficial. I always dreamed about being the one that turned heads around and it has come true except for the part that they were not turns of appreciation. I learnt how to make myself small, to be invisible..

Today I have learnt one thing, no matter what you do people judge. Maybe not always in mean spirit but they do judge. In fact I do it too. I have chosen to not to let their opinions effect me as much. I keep reiterating one line – “Just cause they are right I am not wrong. Unlike mathematics, in life there are more than one right answer”

Keeping that in mind, I try to be whatever makes me happy in that moment. It may draw attention but if I don’t keep the focus judgements I will have the memory that I tried. I may succeed or fail and that’s okay. And sometimes being the centre of attention is good cause everyone deserves their spotlight! So take courage, make noise, let the world see you…

Daily writing prompt
What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?

A Warm Embrace

I have never been a person who likes to share their feelings with others. I prefer to bottle then up and build mile high walls so that no one can cross them over. I mostly feel awkward with overtly emotional gestures. In our house no one says the words “I Love You” or something else cheesy as “I cherish you”. Though words are never spoken the care is always implied.

To those other than my family, they would call me indifferent and cold. And though I have tried in the past to be more expressive of my emotions i always end up feeling the cringe. I prefer to observe people. I see the subtle movements of their hands or the slight twinge in their eyes to know the emotions that they are going through.

However, there was a day, when all I wanted was a Hug. I had a huge smile on my face when I asked for it and oddly it was my mother who ended up giving me one. My mother and I have very similar characters which ofcourse means that I am constantly at a war of words with her. But on that day she said this “If she is asking for it she needs it. Come here.” and then she hugged me. And just like that all the taunts and curses she hurled at me over the years just faded away. Now, everytime I think of those horrible memories it is replaced by the memory of the most loving hug she ever gave me.

And Yes, now I realize her love for me and my love for her.

Daily writing prompt
Can you share a positive example of where you’ve felt loved?