It’s not fair that my heart feels so heavy. It’s not fair that I can’t have true happiness. I know that there are people in this world who have it worse that me, I just don’t know how do they bear it?
Are they born with the iron will with which they face the world? Or were they beaten so badly that they learnt to take the pain?
I feel like a failure, achieving what I think I want but at the end of the day I feel the weights that are tied around my neck. I cannot breathe. Life can’t be so difficult for a privileged person like me. I mean I have everything but why at the end of the day I feel like I am dying. I am not living I am just counting the days to my grave.
Is it wrong of me? To think that my life is horrible? Shouldn’t I look at those that have it worse and realize that my life is blessed? But what do I do when I cannot think beyond the four walls that close around me?
I am extremely grateful for the life I have, but, somedays I feel that my wrong choices have made have destroyed what life I had. Why did I agree? I should have realized that though I was making the decision that I thought is the best for everyone I had inadvertently made the wrong one for myself.
All I hope now is that I can teach my will to be strong. I have so many decisions to make ahead in my life and this time around since I an making them for me i know I will be alone.
Alone is better that miserable. A little sadness is better than a lifetime of grief. This time around I will make it right.
Word Hues 