Daily writing prompt

What is one thing you would change about yourself?

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I always act first without thinking and then I always end up replaying the scenario in my head on how I could have handled it better.

I have always admired people who can handle their emotions well. They do not say things that hurt even if the other person is attacking them. How do they do it? When there is someone coming at you barking mad, it would take every ounce of patience to not lash back.

The choice to be calm in such situation takes a lot of maturity. I am trying to learn to be more patient. Now-a-days I at least try to listen to the other person before charging in with my words. Though I am trying to listen better, I still realize that I have not gotten better at listening to the conversation without letting the words affect me.

I want to be better and more patient. There are many times that I say things in anger that I don’t mean. It just takes a moment for the words to leave the mouth but it leaves the other person hurt every time they think about it.

I hate knowing that I am the reason for someone’s pain. I want to be a better person. The life in this world is hard enough. I do not want to be the reason that someone is pushed over the edge. There were people in my life who took me nearly to the edge. I just wanted the pain to end and was close to making some wrong choice.

It is at times like this that I thank Jesus for His presence in my life. Even after all the stupid things I do He takes care of me. Even when everyone in my life was spewing hurtful words He was there. I could feel His presence in my loneliness and I am grateful to have a chance to know that sacrifice He made for me.