It was on Me…

Each time we fought you got hurt but the scars were left on my heart,
Each time we shared secrets you were relieved but I was always burdened.
Each time we consoled each other you recovered but I sank further in,
Each time I tried never to be the same I always failed and never did really change,
Each time you shed tears some fell from mine but I never let you notice,
Each time I fell I tried to get up on my own as I did not wan to be an obstacle in your way,

In your happiness I was happy but when I was sad no one cared,
I thought of you as my driving force for living,
As days went by I was no more part of your life,
When the words you spoke made me sad I hid the tears that fell from my eyes for which I always regret,
I once was an open book but as time passed I closed up myself,
I never told you what you said hurt me but hoped you would realize but never did,
I waited and waited for you to notice but you showed no signs of it,

So I accept it was my mistake,
I hurt you, I made you cry but I hoped you would always remain mine,
But now I know your happiness is not with me,
I just want to say I am sorry,
I can’t say anything else because you were and are my everything,
I am sorry for everything I have have said and done,
Please forgive me if you can and hope that you will give a place in a corner of your life again.

Breathe Again

Since I have missed on a couple of the daily prompts guess now onwards will be the challenge to continue writing everyday.

It seemed appropriate to start with why I started the blog. Initially, it was just about a social media presence. I restarted my blog when I had a complete reset. I realized that though in daily life I am quiet silent I had a lot to say. I chose to stay alone because I felt that no one could understand me. Then, I started writing poems as a way to manage my emotions, fear.. Sometimes when I read them over I feel that those words have absorbed the pain.

I hope that maybe someone out there can read and realize that suffocating feeling happens to many. And most of them if not all choose to bear it in silence so that the people they love don’t feel their pain.

I hope that my little insignificant blog would help them to remember to keep breathing. It may hurt bad for sometime but slowly you learn to find a way to smile despite that. You don’t bury the pain away, but rather acknowledge it. You learn to breathe again!

Keepsakes

For me many things trigger memories and I have accumulated a lot of keepsakes to remind me of the happy moments. People say that you never forget the happy memories if you truly cherish them. But sometimes when we are emotionally worn-down and every single thing in the world feels like a burden it is those keepsakes that help me remember.

I have kept old photos, old toys, small notes passed between classes, and gifts given by friends. They remind me of a time where I loved everything about my life, where the burdens of the world did not weigh me down and each and every moment was an opportunity to feel loved and feel joy.

To name one, I have a picture a of view outside the very same window that my sister had taken over 5 years ago. The pictures shows the changes that has occurred to the landscape. Earlier there was probably two sky scrapers at a distance but in my picture those very same sky scrapers look like a tiny building.

Those set of pictures really remind me on how many things have changed over the years. Whether you consider it good or bad that really depends, but change, happens.

Daily writing prompt
What makes you feel nostalgic?

Still a Mystery to Me

Mission simply put would be the reason of one’s existence. When I was young I really never paid heed to the more philosophical aspects of life. One would think, the older you get one ends up finally understanding what is their life’s purpose. I guess I still have not got around to it.

I think presently I am just picking up my broken pieces and gluing them back together. Today, my only mission if you would have it is to be happy. Not the kind of fleeting happiness but to have the kind of happiness that lasts and that I can share. I may not have a larger purpose of my life yet but on a generic terms it would probably be not to be negative. Everything else I should be able to achieve without the constant nagging in my mind.

It is never to late I still have time to find my life’s purpose. Hopefully sooner than later.

Bloganuary writing prompt
What is your mission?