Tag: healing

Day 24 and 25: Christmas is in the Air

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The past two days were good! Exhausting like hell but amazing.

Yesterday I made Chocolate chip cookies. I love making them more than eating them. Is it just me or does food taste better when someone else cooks it for you? What made the baking process even better were my nephews. They were so fascinated by the whole process. Whisking the eggs, measuring out the flour was all a game to them. By the time the dough was prepped there was flour everywhere! I do not know if the cookies were a baker’s perfection but seeing my nephews hand in the cookie jar was satisfaction enough.

Today I made the traditional Christmas Plum cake. I used to remember my mom baking them but ever since we got the new oven it seems the baking falls back to me. The folding in of the batter nearly took me out. I had to keep walking around because I kept misplacing the ingredients. Even though I sat through most of the process. I saw my ankle injury swelling and with that the pain also started getting worse. But determination can really push you. I finally mixed up the batter and five hours later we had three baked plum cakes. After then baking when I finally did take the rest I realized that the pains were all much worse. I took a pain pill and was knocked out for 2 hours.

The medicine and the rest did what it was supposed to I woke up an started with my washi tape organizing.

All in all these past two days I felt more like myself than I have in months.

Wishing you all a Blessed Christmas! May the Grace and Mercy of he Lord Jesus Christ fill your life always!

Day 19: Holding On through the Pain

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Today I woke up with the pain from yesterday. Even with the pain I tried to get a little things done. The organizing that I started earlier and had to stop because I was exhausted, I did a little more today. I did have to stop it in between again cause the pain started getting a little worse.

I started watching a new K-drama today. It hit a little close to home. I went to a state of panic. I felt like I could not breathe. I thought I was over this feeling. The feeling of dread, the feeling of like someone was choking the air out of my lungs. I knew I was spiraling. I had to take a minute to compose myself. I stopped watching the series and started focusing on my breathing, to center myself. It did not stop the feeling completely. It is there at the back of my mind like a numb pain.

I guess I thought that I was over it. I thought that I had taken control of my life. But it seems that just like my body, my mind and my heart is taking time to heal. The hits have stopped but the old scars are still haunting me.

I do not know how long it is going to take but I am going to keep holding on. One more step towards my healing. Breathe and keep going.

Day 1: Making each day Count

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There are moments in life when the weight of reality feels heavier than ever. For a long time, I didn’t think much about how long I had in this world. It didn’t matter to me. But now, just as I began to hope for a long and fulfilled life, things have taken a different turn—and it hurts.

I find myself battling with my own thoughts, ashamed that I let things get so bad. I know I’ve caused pain to my family, and the one thing I always wished was that they would never have to bury me. That thought alone feels like the worst punishment I could give them. And yet, facing the possibility of it, I realize I need to live better—not just survive. I want to take care of my health, to be stronger, and to leave behind good memories for the people I love most.

I don’t know if my family will ever read these words, but if you do, I want you to know something: I love you. Even if I don’t say it often, even if harsh words have been exchanged, my love for you has never changed. I have always felt your love, even in moments of loneliness. Despite the walls I built around myself, I knew you were there, waiting for me.

If I leave this world before you, I am deeply sorry for the pain I’ve caused. If I could start my life over again with you, I would. But I am not ungrateful—I’ve had a better life than many, and a longer one than most.

From here on, I want to take things one day at a time. To be better than I was yesterday—in my faith, in my family, and in my dreams.

Just Me, Myself and I

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My ideal day… Now that is something I always think about. Let’s start from the beginning.

Phase 1: Energize
Wake up at 6 am. I know that is early but I love the morning air. I want to go out for a walk at that time and I don’t want other people to be there. Just cause it would beat the purpose of relaxing. After the walk, I want a nice cup of warm hot chocolate. Then sit out on the balcony in a fuzzy blanket and just want the sun rising listening to some calming music.

Phase 2: Fueling
My ideal breakfast is a Toasted bread with sausage and bacon. It is my comfort meal. I love it! It makes the whole day just happier. After breakfast, maybe finish up some of the basic chores at home

Phase 3: Meditate
For the early part of the day I prefer to visit a museum or art gallery or even a nice park. Where there is no noise of the busy streets. I can just sit down and get lost in the castles of my mind.

Phase 4: Enjoy
I probably would skip lunch for a nice cup of Java. After that, a movie! But let’s get specific, I want to go for a movie in an empty theatre. The movie can be a an unpopular one I am okay with that. I just want to be able to look at my phone and laugh loud and sit in the best seat in the theatre without troubling anyone. Oh and theatre food! Cheese Nachos! I know popcorn is the go to but I just prefer nachos.

Phase 5: Unwind
After the movie, a cab ride back home and a soaking bath in the tub. I personally wind down at that time and often take a little nap. After the bath, I would watch one of the TV series that are part of my every increasing list. I prefer light hearted series at night mostly veering towards K-Dramas. With the binge watching I would love to draw or paint and update my journal.

Phase 6: Indulge
After that, probably dinner. Dinner could be anything but it has to end with an ice cream. If not something special, I usually prefer Haagen-Dazs Belgium chocolate. And with dinner, I would continue to watch the TV series.

Phase 7: Settle Down
The best part is always for the last! Take to the warm bed. Clean up everything from the whole day and then just tuck myself under the warm blankets and keep the TV series on till I fall asleep. It is a good thing that most of the online platforms have auto turn off or else my electricity bills would run high!

This kind of day I would not want it everyday though. Just once in a while. I think I appreciate more because it doesn’t happen that often. A day like this would give me the strength to get through the bad days. Besides, no matter how much stress my work brings I actually like working so “relaxing everyday” might not be a concept I can get behind.

Daily writing prompt
Describe your most ideal day from beginning to end.
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