Adapt or Accept

I think the time before COVID everyone was just running around. We all were just focused on the next race without ever thinking about the end goal. COVID slowed us down a little. At one point of time everything was just too overwhelming.

I think for that one part it worked to my favor. I liked staying indoors turned into somewhat like a vampire. I enjoyed the smaller crowds, the fact that you could stay at home in the comfort of your PJs and spend time just talking with family and friends.

I am not sure if I have adapted that well, I think I mostly just accepted the change out of the uncertainty that it posed. I think with everything there is always a good and a bad. But I sincerely hope that no one ever has to face such a fear in life again.

Daily writing prompt
How have you adapted to the changes brought on by the Covid-19 pandemic?

Not so much of a Ritual

My first hour of the day depends on when I slept the night before.

I am a night person. I generally sit long hours in the night to get things done and end up waking late. The constant in my mornings would be brushing teeth, shower and maybe going through all my notifications on my phone. I know not a very healthy habit but what can I say?

I would like to include some healthy habits like maybe morning prayers or exercise or meditation or drinking water… I mean something that I could be proud about.. But it is never to late. I am gonna keep trying to make better habits and maybe someday soon I will get it write.

Daily writing prompt
What are your morning rituals? What does the first hour of your day look like?

Everything Together

In my opinion everything about a person makes them unique. I mean you could have two people be good at the same thing but very rarely are they good at all the same things.

Even if one is an identical twin the way they behave, the things they like, the choices they make are so different. That’s why every life is precious cause once you are gone to get another one like you is impossible. You may think you are ordinary or not special (trust me I know the feeling) but there is something special about you.

It may take you sometime and in some cases you may never see it but trust me someone has seen it. You are the perfect combination of things to be the unique person you are!

Daily writing prompt
Which aspects do you think makes a person unique?

Almost Anything

I laugh for the most weirdest situations. Even worse than that, I tend to recall the funny situation and laugh again.

I laugh at myself when I jumble words as I speak or when I confidently address someone with another persons name or even better when I make the most obvious mistake.

I laugh when I see cute baby videos, when they try to attempt something for the first time and fail at it. I laugh even at dog videos or any other baby animals especially the ones with the voice overs.

What I don’t laugh for is Stand up comedy. I think my mind cannot bridge the gap between the actual words and the implied joke and when it actual does the train has left the station.

Considering that we all have a lot in life to cry and grieve over I take every chance I can to smile. I just life in that moment of laughter with a hope that I will have more of those in the days to come.

Daily writing prompt
What makes you laugh?

Blank Memory

I wish I had some aspirations to become something at that age. The earliest I remember is probably 11 or 12 but even then I doubt that I really had a passion for any of the things I mentioned.

I doubt I even understood we had to be something when we grow up. I may have wanted to be a fairy or witch or basically any creature that could do magic. I have very vague memories of my childhood which is very much open to interpretations. It could be cause I never understood the importance of those moments, or could be cause I wanted to forget some memories which were painful or it could be as what I would say now that my “ROM” part of the brain is very limited.

I think at that age all I wanted was to be happy, play with my sister all day and hug my parents and sleep at night. I never had a thought of tomorrow and guess that was the best phase of my life.

Daily writing prompt
When you were five, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Happiness

Not to be to philosophical, but I feel we misunderstand what is “true” happiness.

For instance, I love stationery and discovering (and owning)new stationery. I feel happy with I look at my stationery collections and I use it as sort of therapy when I am not having a good day. Just going through them and reorganizing them helps me calm the waves in my mind.

I also love watching K-Dramas with their mostly happy fairytale like ending and of course actual fairytales too. They make me happy too, and some of the comic scenes in them are truly iconic. When I want to disconnect from reality I always turn to my Watch list on Netflix for that much needed break.

Spending time with my family makes me happy too. Just seeing them happy makes all the troubles of life worth it. On the other hand, being an introvert, spending time alone makes me happy too. I love delving into my world of imagination, I am essentially doing noting, but I am still happy.

If you ask me which of these is true happiness I would claim all of it are. It just depends on the time and the reason why you are down to truly understand what you need to be happy again.

Daily writing prompt
What’s something most people don’t understand?

I wish I could say Never

I do not need a reason to get distracted. Show me a funny looking cloud and I will forget all about my goals.

I find it very difficult to remain focused. So time an again I make resolutions to make myself better. However, I never stick to my goals and always find some reason to not do something. And then, I keep saying I will make up for it the next day, or the next day till it comes to a point when it is too much and I just give up.

This year I am trying something different, no matter how many times I fall off my path to my goals I am going to keep trying till I make good habits. Sooner or later it will stick and once it does… well I don’t know.. I think I will cross that bridge when I come to it. πŸ™‚

Daily writing prompt
How often do you say β€œno” to things that would interfere with your goals?

Play any Instrument

I admire musicians, amateurs or professionals it doesn’t matter. I believe that being able to make music is truly a blessing from God above.

I stand in awe, when I see someone play an instrument. I wish that I could be as good as them. I want to be able to understand notes when I play them be it on any instrument. Just imagine being a music prodigy, you can make any sort of music you want. How I wish I could be one!

Daily writing prompt
What’s a secret skill or ability you have or wish you had?

How Much More…

It’s not fair that my heart feels so heavy. It’s not fair that I can’t have true happiness. I know that there are people in this world who have it worse that me, I just don’t know how do they bear it?

Are they born with the iron will with which they face the world? Or were they beaten so badly that they learnt to take the pain?

I feel like a failure, achieving what I think I want but at the end of the day I feel the weights that are tied around my neck. I cannot breathe. Life can’t be so difficult for a privileged person like me. I mean I have everything but why at the end of the day I feel like I am dying. I am not living I am just counting the days to my grave.

Is it wrong of me? To think that my life is horrible? Shouldn’t I look at those that have it worse and realize that my life is blessed? But what do I do when I cannot think beyond the four walls that close around me?

I am extremely grateful for the life I have, but, somedays I feel that my wrong choices have made have destroyed what life I had. Why did I agree? I should have realized that though I was making the decision that I thought is the best for everyone I had inadvertently made the wrong one for myself.

All I hope now is that I can teach my will to be strong. I have so many decisions to make ahead in my life and this time around since I an making them for me i know I will be alone.

Alone is better that miserable. A little sadness is better than a lifetime of grief. This time around I will make it right.

If Autumn had Snow..

I love the cold! I love the winter and I love the snow! Yes, there are the downsides to it but it is totally worth it.

However, it is me, I would never have a straight forward answer to a question and have a similar conundrum for this question as well. I love Autumn too. I love the skies, the falling leaves, the soft breeze that weather brings. I am not sure if it ever happens in nature, but if I could have a weather that combines all the aesthetics of autumn but also has the added bonus of snow, I guess then I have a definitive answer.

I think I have romanticized the concept of autumn in my mind so much, just a fallen leaf on the ground makes me happy. And snow is snow! It reminds me of a happier time! So I love both of those weathers equally and so I am not going to make a choice. πŸ™‚

Daily writing prompt
What is your favorite type of weather?