Category: Daily blog

Log of my everyday

Day 24 and 25: Christmas is in the Air

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The past two days were good! Exhausting like hell but amazing.

Yesterday I made Chocolate chip cookies. I love making them more than eating them. Is it just me or does food taste better when someone else cooks it for you? What made the baking process even better were my nephews. They were so fascinated by the whole process. Whisking the eggs, measuring out the flour was all a game to them. By the time the dough was prepped there was flour everywhere! I do not know if the cookies were a baker’s perfection but seeing my nephews hand in the cookie jar was satisfaction enough.

Today I made the traditional Christmas Plum cake. I used to remember my mom baking them but ever since we got the new oven it seems the baking falls back to me. The folding in of the batter nearly took me out. I had to keep walking around because I kept misplacing the ingredients. Even though I sat through most of the process. I saw my ankle injury swelling and with that the pain also started getting worse. But determination can really push you. I finally mixed up the batter and five hours later we had three baked plum cakes. After then baking when I finally did take the rest I realized that the pains were all much worse. I took a pain pill and was knocked out for 2 hours.

The medicine and the rest did what it was supposed to I woke up an started with my washi tape organizing.

All in all these past two days I felt more like myself than I have in months.

Wishing you all a Blessed Christmas! May the Grace and Mercy of he Lord Jesus Christ fill your life always!

Day 23: Being Busy

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I literally had nothing to do today. I woke up at 6 am but then stayed curled on by bed till 8 am. When I finally rose from my bed I realized I have nothing to do. No Monday morning weekly planning. No calls. No meetings. No pings from work. It was weird.

I thought to myself since I have sometime I would best try organizing my stationery. My biggest challenge is my washi tape collection. Its stored in boxes that are not clear. The fact that I cannot see them and have to rummage through the box to find one that I want always deterred me. At the end, I have a boxes that gather up dust.

So today, I started reorganizing my collections. By color, by width, by pattern. I have got through about half of it today. Tomorrow the real work starts. Hopefully I can get it done by tomorrow and then have a relaxing Christmas Eve.

Excited for tomorrow. I hope that I finally start using my washi for the art spreads and not have them forgotten in the back of my storage.

Day 22: Joy of Small Wins

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For the first time in a year I am finally sleeping in my room. I had to shift to my sister’s room. Her room has an attached bathroom. I could not walk across the hall every time I needed to use the washroom. I used to often cry because of it.

Today I slept in my own bed. Although there was a little pain, I still could make it across the hall without falling. It felt redeeming.

Other highlights of the day, I made lunch today. I once again took my time. It felt good. I also wanted to bake some bread but I was exhausted by the cooking. As such, I choose to stop for the day. Small successes are still a success, I remind myself and then everything feels like a blessing.

Other than that I did not do much else. The weather is so cold all I want to do is curl up under my blanket and sleep.

Day 21: Slow Down

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I have always loved drawing and being creative. I may not be the best at it but I still do love it.

Today I started a new art project, drawing Pokémon characters. I had remaining blank index cards from when I used to make flash cards for studying. I always wanted to use that for something but did not know what. I knew that I wanted to make it like a series but I did not know what.

I finished drawing of 10 out of the 1025 that are there on my Pokedex app. Lets see by the end of 2026 how many am I able to complete.

I always good after spending time on doing something creative. Today was by all means one of the best day that I had in a long time.

Day 20: Family Time

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Today my sister came over with the kids and are staying over night. It’s true what people say when kids are there in a home it has life. My nephews are like little tornadoes. Everything they do is with a bang. There is nothing that can be done in silence. I sat back and let the chaos just engulf me.

Once they tuckered out and was put to sleep was when other thoughts came to my mind. My sister and I sat for hours just talking to our mom. We spoke about school projects that we did and then dad re-did because he just wanted to make it better. We spoke about my girl guide phase which my mom seemed to have forgotten. I took the chance to ask the ever prevailing question of “who is the favorite?”, to which she replies I love lefty and right. We spoke about many other things which was more of reminiscing than active conversation. It felt good.

Today was a busy day but all I can remember was that the day was amazing!

So much so that, I hit save and went to bed instead of hitting post.

Day 19: Holding On through the Pain

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Today I woke up with the pain from yesterday. Even with the pain I tried to get a little things done. The organizing that I started earlier and had to stop because I was exhausted, I did a little more today. I did have to stop it in between again cause the pain started getting a little worse.

I started watching a new K-drama today. It hit a little close to home. I went to a state of panic. I felt like I could not breathe. I thought I was over this feeling. The feeling of dread, the feeling of like someone was choking the air out of my lungs. I knew I was spiraling. I had to take a minute to compose myself. I stopped watching the series and started focusing on my breathing, to center myself. It did not stop the feeling completely. It is there at the back of my mind like a numb pain.

I guess I thought that I was over it. I thought that I had taken control of my life. But it seems that just like my body, my mind and my heart is taking time to heal. The hits have stopped but the old scars are still haunting me.

I do not know how long it is going to take but I am going to keep holding on. One more step towards my healing. Breathe and keep going.

Day 18: Strained Day

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Today was a little difficult I am in a little pain today. I can barely type up this blog. I am struggling to stand up and walk. Every step sending a sharp pain up my spine.

Its days like this that gets me demotivated. It reminds me that I am burden to my family. I feel horrible being weak. I don’t like myself. I know that the treatment will take time. But when days like these happen I feel why I am I still sick. Why am I not getting better? I need to remind myself that I am better than I was 2 months ago but sometimes it does not help.

I just wanted to crawl back to my bed for the whole day. I managed to get through my day not very successfully. Because of the pain I could not get anything done. But here’s to hoping for a good day tomorrow.

Day 17: Disconnecting from Work

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I am on leave starting today. I do not know what to do. I feel a little lost. With the toxicity not constantly pounding my brain its like I an empty.

I woke up and started organizing, deep cleaning just to keep myself occupied. The fact that my pace is much slower than usual does not help. I should be thankful though, I am moving mush more than I could a month back. I want to start taking the stairs maybe 5 to start with. I am a little worried that i am pushing myself too soon but I think i need to start somewhere.

I am also hoping to start driving the car again. Baby steps, one thing at a time. I need to keep reminding myself. Now that my health has made me realize the clock on life I want to do as much as possible. I do not want any regrets. I want to be better. I know there is a high possibility I might fall at sometime but I need to remember to stand back up.

Lets see what tomorrow will bring.

Day 16: Reboot

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It was a long time since I actually enjoyed my work. I used to put music on and then buckle down. I swiftly completed my assigned tasks for the day. However, somewhere along the past 2 years, I lost that part of me.

I got my Spotify wrapped today, and I had not listened to any music for the past 8 months. To me, it was all noise. I never realized what all was stolen from me. How did I let it get this bad? I was losing myself and I did not even realize it. Today, as I opened my favorite playlist and set it to play, it bought back good memories.

It was a good change. People say that one should not go back to old habits but this was a good old habit. I finished my work. For the first time in a long time, I felt satisfied as I closed my laptop.

I made it another day! 🙂

Day 15: A Christmas Carol

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Today we had Christmas Carols at Church. My nephews sang in the choir. They looked so cute in their uniforms. Kids are always fun to watch. Their expressions and their actions always bring a smile to faces.

On the other hand, I did a major de-cluttering. I went through all my drawers and rearranged stuff where they had to go. I also removed stuff that were just lying about without any purpose. I also when through my box of memories and found that somethings in there no longer invoked any memories. I think with age perspectives changes. I think I used to dump things in the box because it was something I had as a kid. This time around, I removed some old stuff and put in some new ones.

The pain in my shoulders are flaring up as I sit at me desk. Walking around was a little bit more painful today. Still, today was a good day!