Tag: blogpost

Managing the Crash

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Daily writing prompt
What strategies do you use to cope with negative feelings?
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Attempting this prompt again, because this time the answer feels a little different. Especially since I’ve just returned to some level of normalcy after feeling like I was drowning for the past two days. Having bad days isn’t uncommon anymore; it almost feels like they’ve become the norm. The world is on fire, and no matter how hard you try, some days simply don’t go your way.

Talking about my strategy to cope with negative feelings, fair disclaimer: this is not a good practice. What I do is probably one of the more toxic ways of dealing with things. But here it is. First, I hide what I’m feeling. I never let the next person know what’s going through my mind. My problems are my own. It’s rare that anyone would truly understand, and even rarer that they’d know exactly what’s happening inside. Second, I build compartments and shove the feelings into a box. There’s no time to deal with emotions. Feelings complicate things and make everything confusing. Wearing your heart on your sleeve feels like the biggest disservice you can do to yourself. So I tell myself: deal with the feelings later. It most certainly isn’t in the moment. Finally, I focus on getting through today, pushing the problems out for tomorrow.

Now, here’s why this isn’t effective. Every once in a while, the feelings I’ve boxed up start to crack through. I try damage control, thinking maybe handling a small issue will make the compartments strong again, strong enough to withstand a few more days. But the pile of negative emotions always grows faster than my ability to manage them. Then comes the crash. The day when everything tumbles down, when it feels like the world is ending and life has lost all meaning. I shut down for a couple of days, overwhelmed by the tide of emotions. Nothing makes sense until I finally gather the strength to rebuild the walls, compartmentalize again, and start over.

I still follow this vicious cycle, but once in a while I take time to talk to someone. It doesn’t stop the crash, but it helps me recover from it. It gives me courage to fight again and somehow gives me the strength to take a step in the right direction.

Day 85: Food, Family and Smiles

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Sometimes, it isn’t about what we achieve in a day but how we spend our time. Today reminded me of that truth in the most delightful way.

The morning began in the kitchen, where my nephews brought with them a whirlwind of chaos, fun, and pure madness. There’s something magical about children—their innocence has a way of making the world’s troubles fade into the background.

Breakfast was french toast and sausages. I stacked the toast high, convinced there would be leftovers. But for kids who spend their days running, playing, and laughing, that pile was nothing more than fuel for their endless energy.

By lunchtime, the excitement moved outdoors. We fired up the grill for a barbecue, and the kids threw themselves into the experience—darting between the kitchen and the grill, proudly carrying marinated chicken one way and sizzling food the other. Their joy was infectious, especially when they hovered around their grandfather, soaking up his presence.

I’ll admit, there were moments when pain crept in while I cooked. Yet, as the day unfolded, the discomfort faded into the background. What remained was laughter, chatter, and the warmth of family.

Later, I sat outside with my mom. We talked about nothing in particular—random things, everyday musings. And yet, it was everything. No looming problems, no heavy thoughts. Just the comfort of conversation and the peace of being together.

As the day closes, I find myself smiling. Not because of any grand achievement, but because of the simple joy of shared meals, laughter, and love.

Yes, today was a good day.

Day 83:Disconecting from Autopilot

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How do people find something to write about their everyday? I find my life totally uninteresting. I am what people call boring.

Is this what adulthood looks like? A day that start with work and ends with sleep? I am embarrassed about it. I never thought much of it. I have spent months together doing nothing more than just logging on to work and closing my laptop and going to sleep. I never gave it a second thought.

I was missing out on life. I do not get to spend time with my family or my friends. I do not spend time doing things i love – like creating art. Ironically, art became a stress reliever for me rather than something that I spent time with “just because”.

Do others also feel like this? Like their life is losing its purpose. Just going through the motions day after day without any thought to the “why”.

The truth is, everyone needs something to look forward to. A reason to wake up with anticipation instead of resignation. With all the ups and downs in my life I stopped hoping. I was mechanical. . I had no bigger goals or dreams behind it.

Time to reset that part of me. I am going to try making small goals. It is what is suggested you see. Given that I have a history of not staying on course it makes sense. The small wins will encourage me to make larger ones. Hopefully.

Day 64: Getting back on Track

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I am back! Finally after days of wanting to get back to writing my blog. I have finally done it! Even today as I sat to write my blog today I kept thinking “one day won’t matter right?” But, given my procrastination behavior I finally have forced myself to get started.

I have missed this! I think things are finally turning around. My health is getting better. My pain is at a manageable threshold. I have finally finished organizing all my stationary. No more stationary strewn on the floor. I table top is not piled up. I actually even started de-cluttering other areas in my house. I have started letting go of things that at point was unimaginable for me. I took a proper emotional hit for me to set my priorities straight.

I am not doing everything that I am supposed to. I feel like I have finally started to at least see the things that I have been missing. I don’t every want to feel that out of control again. I never wants to loose perspective of what matters again. I want to be happy. And life may not always give me reasons to be happy about. I am going to keep trying. I am going to snatch any happiness life can give me. Even if I don’t deserve it I still appreciate it!

Day 49: Cold – 1, Productivity – 0

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Have you ever had those days when you feel busy the entire day, yet at the end you realize nothing has really been accomplished? Today was one of those days for me. I woke up with a blocked nose and constant sneezing. The cold has really taken hold and seems to be in the “getting worse” phase. I absolutely hate catching a cold.

Putting the cold aside, I didn’t get much done today—not even the bare minimum. I had planned to start studying this weekend, but even on good days I get distracted easily. Add to that the headache from the cold, and I just didn’t feel like doing it. I wanted at least one small achievement for the day, so I renewed my car insurance, and that was all I managed.

The rest of the day I spent talking with my family and watching Netflix. I really hope the worst of the cold is behind me and that tomorrow I’ll feel better.

Day 23: Being Busy

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I literally had nothing to do today. I woke up at 6 am but then stayed curled on by bed till 8 am. When I finally rose from my bed I realized I have nothing to do. No Monday morning weekly planning. No calls. No meetings. No pings from work. It was weird.

I thought to myself since I have sometime I would best try organizing my stationery. My biggest challenge is my washi tape collection. Its stored in boxes that are not clear. The fact that I cannot see them and have to rummage through the box to find one that I want always deterred me. At the end, I have a boxes that gather up dust.

So today, I started reorganizing my collections. By color, by width, by pattern. I have got through about half of it today. Tomorrow the real work starts. Hopefully I can get it done by tomorrow and then have a relaxing Christmas Eve.

Excited for tomorrow. I hope that I finally start using my washi for the art spreads and not have them forgotten in the back of my storage.

Violet and Dolphins

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Daily writing prompt
If you started a sports team, what would the colors and mascot be?
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I know nothing of sports. Literally noting!

While I do enjoying watching a game on the television with the family, sports is not something that I will intentionally watch.

If I were ever to start a sports team, the color has to be violet. It could also be purple or some shade of it. That is my favorite color and would always be my first choice.

On the other hand, I have heard that the mascot needs to represent the team. Mostly, strong animals are chosen to be the mascot. My personal preference would be the dolphin. Anytime people have asked – “What animal I would want to be” the answer has always been dolphin. I just am so fascinated by them.

So there you go, Violet and Dolphins that is my answer to today’s prompt.

Everchanging View

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Daily writing prompt
How have your political views changed over time?
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Viewpoints always change. Atleast this holds true for me.

Politics was something I never paid much heed to. It was just too complicated. I believed in what I saw and heard and did not question anything.

But as I matured, those assumptions were challenged multiple times. I started noticing that nothing was ever as it seemed. The deeper I looked into issues, the more contradictions I discovered. Ideas I once thought were unquestionably right were quite different than what they seemed.

My opinions began to sway, sometimes leaning one way, then shifting to another. At first, I saw this as indecision. But over time, I realized that my understanding of the situations were getting better.

Changing viewpoints isn’t a weakness. It means you’re willing to try to understand the perplexing circumstances and admit when you need to change your perspective. My core principles like fairness and accountability have never changed but maybe the paths to it are open to debate.

In the end, I’ve learned that confidence doesn’t come from being stubborn. Rather, it comes from asking questions and understanding different aspects of the same situation.

Day 17: Disconnecting from Work

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I am on leave starting today. I do not know what to do. I feel a little lost. With the toxicity not constantly pounding my brain its like I an empty.

I woke up and started organizing, deep cleaning just to keep myself occupied. The fact that my pace is much slower than usual does not help. I should be thankful though, I am moving mush more than I could a month back. I want to start taking the stairs maybe 5 to start with. I am a little worried that i am pushing myself too soon but I think i need to start somewhere.

I am also hoping to start driving the car again. Baby steps, one thing at a time. I need to keep reminding myself. Now that my health has made me realize the clock on life I want to do as much as possible. I do not want any regrets. I want to be better. I know there is a high possibility I might fall at sometime but I need to remember to stand back up.

Lets see what tomorrow will bring.

Hard Pass

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Daily writing prompt
How much would you pay to go to the moon?
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Survival is one of humanity’s most basic instincts. Perhaps that’s why the idea of traveling to the Moon first came into our minds. It was an escape from a planet that we have damaged.

Yet, I don’t see myself going to the Moon. Earth, with all its environmental challenges, is still my home.

To me, going to the Moon feels less like survival and more like luxury. And luxury has always made me uneasy. Coming from a middle-class background, excess feels strange—almost wasteful.

If I had the means, I wouldn’t spend it chasing the stars. I’d rather use it to lighten someone else’s burden. Money can buy happiness for some people and I would want to do that. That, to me, feels just right. Add to that the benefit of skipping the stress of space travel and risking becoming a ball of fire in the sky.

In the end, the Moon may be fascinating, but Earth is irreplaceable. And perhaps the greatest adventure isn’t in leaving our planet—it’s in learning how to care for it, and for each other.