Category: Daily blog

Log of my everyday

Day 4: Loosing the Momentum

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Writing has always been my de-stressing solution. I think it gave me some stability to the emotional turmoil in my mind.

I set a time clock for myself. I knew that writing was the first thing that would bring me back. It would give me even a semblance of what I used to be.

I don’t want to be as oblivious as I used to be. However, I do want to be the person who used to find a reason to smile everyday. Not a fake smile or a forced one but rather on that comes out of genuine joy. I want to look at the positive side of things.

Today was a little bit difficult, my mind was pushing against me. It was like – “Is there even a point?” , “No one cares”. But I made it through, I charged my laptop and logged on my day.

This may not be an inciteful blog post but it is me pushing myself to be better.

Day 3: Forcing myself to stay consistent

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Today was a little bit difficult. I had to go out to deal with some personal stuff. Then I spent the rest of the day distracting myself.

I did not get anything much done. In fact, I did not want to get anything done. I spoke to my sister about my health and took a reality check with her. It was good. I may have not dealt with every challenge of today but I dealt with at least one.

Writing this blog was a struggle. Part of me just wanted to switch off and drift into a lazy day of scrolling. But then I remembered that this blog was the one thing I wanted to be consistent. Enforcing good habits one at a time.

Day 2: Waking Up to Possibilities

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Today was a good day. I woke up at the first alarm rather than snoozing it to kingdom come. Let me tell you, that was no easy feat given the freezing temperatures and the warm cocoon of my blankets. Still, I made myself get up and let my feet touch the cold floor.

After months of putting it off, I finally ran a cycle of laundry and set the clothes out to dry. It wasn’t easy, but I paced myself, took breaks, and got through it.

Later, I gave myself something even more important: time to speak with a friend. I needed to let out what was in my heart. I wanted to talk openly about my fears and worries without burdening my family. Breaking down in front of them feels difficult—I’ve always been the stoic one, the person with logical reason when things go wrong. But today, speaking to my friend gave me the space to acknowledge my fears and reaffirm my hope for a good life.

All in all, not a bad start!

Day 1: Making each day Count

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There are moments in life when the weight of reality feels heavier than ever. For a long time, I didn’t think much about how long I had in this world. It didn’t matter to me. But now, just as I began to hope for a long and fulfilled life, things have taken a different turn—and it hurts.

I find myself battling with my own thoughts, ashamed that I let things get so bad. I know I’ve caused pain to my family, and the one thing I always wished was that they would never have to bury me. That thought alone feels like the worst punishment I could give them. And yet, facing the possibility of it, I realize I need to live better—not just survive. I want to take care of my health, to be stronger, and to leave behind good memories for the people I love most.

I don’t know if my family will ever read these words, but if you do, I want you to know something: I love you. Even if I don’t say it often, even if harsh words have been exchanged, my love for you has never changed. I have always felt your love, even in moments of loneliness. Despite the walls I built around myself, I knew you were there, waiting for me.

If I leave this world before you, I am deeply sorry for the pain I’ve caused. If I could start my life over again with you, I would. But I am not ungrateful—I’ve had a better life than many, and a longer one than most.

From here on, I want to take things one day at a time. To be better than I was yesterday—in my faith, in my family, and in my dreams.