Category: Daily blog

Log of my everyday

Day 8: Good Day

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Today was a good day!

It was not because I was not it pain or that everything in my life is perfect. But today was good.

I spent the whole day with my family. We sat together all morning and just talked. Random things. Anything below the sun. We had food together and just chilled.

In the afternoon, we went for a movie. We watched an animated movie and guess what my parents actually sat through the whole movie. I was shocked. Never expected my parents to sit through an animation movie. Well I guess, when you become grand parents you will do everything for your grand kids.

I started watching the movie but somewhere in between I drifted to sleep. The reclining seat, the cool theater and the warm blanket was the conducive environment for the sandman to visit.

I did struggle to walk the distance and climb the stairs but at the end all I remember was the happy moments of the day.

Thank you God for today!

Day 7: The Turning point

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Today was probably the turning point in my life—the one I had been waiting for. I have nothing holding me back anymore. Now, if I don’t take steps in the right direction, I will have only myself to blame.

Step by step, I am going to push myself to look at the bright side. Even on days when it feels incredibly hard, I will try. I am determined to create a purpose in my life—something worth living for.

To begin, I want to make a bucket list. I used to wonder what the point of it was. I kept thinking that I didn’t deserve happiness, that I had no right to be happy because I wasn’t perfect.

But you know what? It doesn’t matter. Happiness isn’t about whether you deserve it or not. Happiness is found in those moments that help us overcome the sad ones. I am going to embrace every happy moment life offers me, and I will be grateful for each one.

Cheers to a day of clarity!

Day 6: Back on my Feet

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After days of excruciating pain I am back on my feet.

I want to get better so bad. I hate being sick. I hate the pain. I hate limping and having to sit every 5 minutes. I feel like a burden.

I know the disease will be something that I need to live with for the rest of my life. But, I want to have some semblance of normalcy. I want to be able to walk without support. I want to be able to climb up stairs. I want to not see the pain and concerns in my family’s eyes as I struggle to make it across the room.

I know I have a lot of damage and that it is going to be a slow recovery process. Just that some days the pain feels a little more worse. It just feels like there is no end to the pain. I do not want to fall into a gloom thought process. But somedays keeping the hope is a little bit difficult.

Today was that difficult day but somehow I got through. I got through it because I was with my family. My sister came over with the kids and we spent the whole afternoon putting up the Christmas decorations. The loud screaming and lame jokes kept my mind in it’s happy space.

Today was a difficult day but somehow it ended with me having a good memory to hold on to.

Day 5: Feeling Bored

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It’s just been the fifth day of me, trying to maintain a consistent habit of writing a blog. I am already feeling like just giving up.

More than writing a blog consistently, I wanted to keep this blog as a way to keep myself accountable to the changes that I want to make in my life. I keep stalling on things such as waking up early and trying to exercise or even meditate for that matter.

The worst part of it all is that I still have not started reading my bible every day. I really want to be closer to God before I close my eyes not for the fear of hell or death. I just feel guilty that He was the one person that showed me consistent love, and I haven’t even begun to start loving him back.

Starting tomorrow I am going to make that conscious effort to read the bible and prayer before I start my day. Hopefully one day it becomes a necessity rather than a forced habit.

Day 4: Loosing the Momentum

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Writing has always been my de-stressing solution. I think it gave me some stability to the emotional turmoil in my mind.

I set a time clock for myself. I knew that writing was the first thing that would bring me back. It would give me even a semblance of what I used to be.

I don’t want to be as oblivious as I used to be. However, I do want to be the person who used to find a reason to smile everyday. Not a fake smile or a forced one but rather on that comes out of genuine joy. I want to look at the positive side of things.

Today was a little bit difficult, my mind was pushing against me. It was like – “Is there even a point?” , “No one cares”. But I made it through, I charged my laptop and logged on my day.

This may not be an inciteful blog post but it is me pushing myself to be better.

Day 3: Forcing myself to stay consistent

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Today was a little bit difficult. I had to go out to deal with some personal stuff. Then I spent the rest of the day distracting myself.

I did not get anything much done. In fact, I did not want to get anything done. I spoke to my sister about my health and took a reality check with her. It was good. I may have not dealt with every challenge of today but I dealt with at least one.

Writing this blog was a struggle. Part of me just wanted to switch off and drift into a lazy day of scrolling. But then I remembered that this blog was the one thing I wanted to be consistent. Enforcing good habits one at a time.

Day 2: Waking Up to Possibilities

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Today was a good day. I woke up at the first alarm rather than snoozing it to kingdom come. Let me tell you, that was no easy feat given the freezing temperatures and the warm cocoon of my blankets. Still, I made myself get up and let my feet touch the cold floor.

After months of putting it off, I finally ran a cycle of laundry and set the clothes out to dry. It wasn’t easy, but I paced myself, took breaks, and got through it.

Later, I gave myself something even more important: time to speak with a friend. I needed to let out what was in my heart. I wanted to talk openly about my fears and worries without burdening my family. Breaking down in front of them feels difficult—I’ve always been the stoic one, the person with logical reason when things go wrong. But today, speaking to my friend gave me the space to acknowledge my fears and reaffirm my hope for a good life.

All in all, not a bad start!

Day 1: Making each day Count

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There are moments in life when the weight of reality feels heavier than ever. For a long time, I didn’t think much about how long I had in this world. It didn’t matter to me. But now, just as I began to hope for a long and fulfilled life, things have taken a different turn—and it hurts.

I find myself battling with my own thoughts, ashamed that I let things get so bad. I know I’ve caused pain to my family, and the one thing I always wished was that they would never have to bury me. That thought alone feels like the worst punishment I could give them. And yet, facing the possibility of it, I realize I need to live better—not just survive. I want to take care of my health, to be stronger, and to leave behind good memories for the people I love most.

I don’t know if my family will ever read these words, but if you do, I want you to know something: I love you. Even if I don’t say it often, even if harsh words have been exchanged, my love for you has never changed. I have always felt your love, even in moments of loneliness. Despite the walls I built around myself, I knew you were there, waiting for me.

If I leave this world before you, I am deeply sorry for the pain I’ve caused. If I could start my life over again with you, I would. But I am not ungrateful—I’ve had a better life than many, and a longer one than most.

From here on, I want to take things one day at a time. To be better than I was yesterday—in my faith, in my family, and in my dreams.