I have always gone to the beach as a child. I have many happy memories associated with the beach. Going to malls and park always entailed a cost and beach trips were the most pocket friendly option that we had. My parents always took time out of their week to make time to take us out. My mom prepared snacks and dad carried his fishing rod along. We spent hours on beach returning home with tanned skins and exhaustion that made us pass out as soon as our heads hit the pillow.
On the other hand, though I have not been on top of a “mountain”. I have had some chances to go to the top of hills and the cold breeze and fog is just mesmerizing. The air is cold as it enters your lungs and you can see every breath. Every breathe feels pure and healing. I could sit hours together taking in the beauty of nature (Of course I would need warm clothing to last in that cold).
To make a choice would almost be criminal. And in this case, I would own my indecisiveness and I prefer not to choose. Each aspect of nature gives me a new experience to behold and I choose to embrace each and every memory that it gives me.
In my formative years going on stage would make me run in the other direction. I tried to avoid any such opportunity.
Even if I did end upon stage, I measured all my words and internally counted the seconds till I finally got off that platform.
I used to participate in group events. though. As long as I am not alone I would be okay. As long as no one notices me it would be fine. i used to keep repeating this lines over and over. As an added protection, I would not wear my glasses to stage. I could not see them so I could not fear them.
Then as I got older, we had presentation and speeches to give as part of the curriculum. Imagine trying to read the notes without the glasses. So for the first time I gave a presentation with my glasses on. When I was done and off the stage, I literally blacked out. I would say that I survived those college years.
It was my first job that changed things for me. The first time I was asked to give a presentation to the management I fumbled and ended up laughing from the panic. To my surprise, instead of being annoyed by my mishap the directors joined in laugh with me. They said they need a minute to calm down and asked for a break. I knew the break was to compose myself and start again. And even though I made multiple mistakes after the first one. They kept encouraging me to go on with warm smiles on their faces.
That was my turn around. I got better and more spontaneous. I learnt to give speeches, conduct events, and even participate in debates. Over time, I didn’t need note cards anymore.
I still have stage fear. Every time I am done with a stage event, my hands are trembling. However, I do not let that hold me back anymore. I do not back down from stage situations and try my best.
I am not a person who travels much. I think the commotion of popular tourist spots makes me feel anxious. But if I could get over this fear I would want to travel to every city in the world.
There are so many beautiful places around the world that seem so mesmerizing in the pictures and videos.
There are the popular cities like Paris, London, Tokyo, Seoul, Rome in my list. But if there is one that tops my list: Santorini. I do not know if I if the pictures really show the true picture, but as much as I have seen, its simply beautiful!
If you were to ask what is that I specifically want to visit. I have zero information. Its the calmness that the pictures portray that drag me to that place. I feel that I will get my “Breath of Fresh Air”. One day soon I hope to visit. It may not be the first city that I get to visit. However, I wish to visit it at least once before I am too tired to travel.
When we are small were are taught that there are good behaviors and bad behaviors.
Lying is bad, telling the truth is good. Being neat and organized is good, messy is bad. It is quite clear cut. I think when we are kids it is a good starting point to develop good character.
However, over the years, and the zillion life experiences, have formed aspects of my character. I have tried to be “good” but sometimes knowingly or unknowingly I failed.
I was ragged through middle school and high school and thought I would never to do it someone else. It was a shocker for me when what I perceived was being protective was actually a form of ragging to the other person.
I thought truth made everything easy, no complications. But there were so many instances where my truth telling hurt people. It was then I understood that in some instances maybe a lie saves the person from the pain.
Today, I am trying to find the balance between right and wrong. I am trying to define what is my right. And I am hoping and praying that my right does not end up hurting someone.
Hopefully, everyone who does meet, has a happy memory to connect me with. They don’t have to like me but I sure hope they do not hate me.
All my life I have been pursuing the objective of security. “Work hard to secure a stable future. Don’t deviate from the course. ” these were the mantras I followed almost all my life.
Uncertainties terrify me. I do not like to be caught off guard. I am from a middle class family. we never had a back up plan. We just had one plan and if we failed we ended up with nothing. My father took on the burden of his younger siblings when he was in high school. And when he married my mother his responsibilities became theirs.
I have seen them work hard all their lives. They gave up the adventure phase of a newly married couple to take on the role of providers. Seeing them like that inherently instilled in me the need to secure my future. My formative youth years was all about securing a good job that would allow me to be a provider when I had to take the responsibility of a family. I always chose the path that was well traveled. Little did I know, what I was loosing in the process.
It took me some while to snap out of the fear to try. The first time I tried to do something new I thought I would die of a panic attack. But I did not. I ended up having fun. I smiled and laughed and enjoyed my life. Being adventurous is definitely terrifying but taking the leap is worth all the happy memories.
Today, I try to embrace adventures whenever I can. Sometimes I feel drained but sometimes I end my day with a smile on face. There are a hundred things in my life right now that makes me want to cry so I have decided I am going to grab every opportunity that comes my way to smile.
I may not be able to handle excitement every single day of my life. But I would want to keep taking chances and giving up on the fear of change.
I cannot out right say that I am a good judge of someone’s character.
There are days that I am on the more skeptical side of my nature and tend hone into that when deciding to trust someone. On the other hand, there are days that even if I am hit with red flags on after the other I give the person the benefit of doubt and make.. for a lack of a better word “Stupid” assumptions about the person.
I think I tend to be skeptical when others rely on me to make the right choices. I do not want to make the wrong choices which would end up putting others in trouble. I am more cautious and guarded when it comes to the people I love. I am down right territorial. I live the words “You want to hurt them, you go through me.”
Its ironic when you think of it. If my incorrect judgment will only affect me its like there are blinders on my common sense. I think I go by the policy, as long as I am the only one who gets hurt, it doesn’t matter. Not a very self preserving policy.
So in conclusion, I am a good judge of character when I have to protect someone and terrible judge when I have to protect myself.
I believe I am moderately creative. I love reading, writing and drawing. One would assume that being creative is something that comes quite naturally.
However, I have realized that when it comes to drawing I find it difficult to convert my imagination to reality. I keep detailing things out in my head but find it difficult to get it to the actual paper. I realize that some of the difficulty could relate to the fact that I do not have the required skill. Though, I think most of the time it is due to my lack of focus.
I have so many ideas in my head. Would you consider me creative if there is no tangible proof of my creation?
I am taking baby steps. One thing at a time. I want to learn the skills that can finally put me on the path to convert my imagination into beautiful paintings or story.
All my life I have been told what is right and wrong by my elders. I am grateful to their guidance and protection. It definitely has been their wisdom that has kept me in one piece till today.
But I have realized one thing. Nobody has all the answers. And sometimes the right answer for someone ends up being the wrong answer for you. Every circumstance is different and each persons reaction to that situation is different.
I have learnt that there is no one right way to deal with a situation. You cannot expect to have the answers to every circumstance. You need to make your own right choices. There can also be times when the right decision you made once has now become wrong.
Yes, You can sometimes take the advice “helpline” but it is up to you to decide if that is the right choice for you. But more than anything, you need to be open to the idea that the real choice is not what is right but what is best for you.
I used to think that I was a good person. Then one fine day, someone told me that I had ragged them. I realized that day that even with good intentions we sometimes do the wrong things.
It was a good shocker for me. It was since then I decided that I needed to be conscious, not about the message I want to communicate but of the how the message is received.
I have tried since then to be a better person. I am trying to learn how to give space to the other person in a situation. I hope that whenever someone remembers me, they associate me with a happy memory. I hope that their memory of me gives them a reason to smile and maybe give hope that they will have more such memories.
Would you call it camping if we do it within the school compound?
I was part of the Girl Guides till middle school. As a part of the badging we were required to camp outdoors. However, for safety of the children it was decided that we would camp in tents in the school ground. I think more than the safety many of us were not okay with the lets say “outdoor toilet” situation.
Despite the adulterated camping experience, all of us were super excited. We made food using gas stoves that we carried, made a camp fire and had… let’s call them charred marshmallows. We sang songs , danced and shared scary stories.
We set up our tents which proved to be more frustrating than expected with the winds dragging us along with the tent. Finally, we had people sit inside the tent to finish the pitching.
It is definitely worse in the open, but right about past 2 am we all felt like we would freeze to death. That of course, made us huddle to together and when the morning came one would literally call us a “pile”.
The most hilarious part of the whole experience, was walking all the way to the school building to use the toilet at night. Nobody wanted to go alone so we all were using the “mind over matter” mantra. Thankfully, someone spoke in the darkness of the tent saying “Anyone? Washroom?” instantly 5 of us switched on our torches.
We reached the main school building with jittery teeth. While we were in the washroom thought we kept hearing closing classroom doors and people whispering. Of course, there was that one person in the group who seemed to know about the eerie history of the school being on a burial ground. Then all of a sudden we hear a lot of what I now know is a “Flapping” noise.
But unlike most people who take flight when there is danger, I stood perfectly still when the rest of my group ran down the hallway screaming. Funny when I am really scared, my screams seems to be muffled. Probably because my mouth just does not want to open to let the scream out. Anyways, when I finally figured out the noise it turned out to be a pigeon stuck in the exhaust.
My group did return with a teacher to retrieve me from the dangerous situation they had abandoned me in. But the walk back to the tents was just continuous bouts of laughter.
So going back to the prompt, there was camp fire, tents and half cooked food. And whether it was camping or not I leave it for you to decide.
Word Hues 