Tag: bloganuary

Cry & Scream

Published on by wordhues7 Comments

I was taught “big girls don’t cry” when I turned 8. Fast forward through the years, every time I cried I was scolded.

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When I was younger, I was told that I had “crocodile tears” that were not sincere and so slowly I taught myself not to cry. I thought by not crying I was showing maturity. Little did I know that I was slowly piling up the all the hurt in my heart.

It took me some time to figure it out but crying is a reset button set by God for us to just cope with the negativity around us.

When I am tired of keeping that strong willed face for the world, I come back to my room and just cry and scream. That time I spend crying helps me acknowledge the pain I am feeling and helps me forgive myself for failing. It calms the rising tides of emotions in my heart well enough to give me the strength to pick up my broken pieces and face the world once again.

It does not matter who you are, what you have been told, or your circumstances — take a minute to cry, not to show the world, but for yourself. In my opinion, it’s the best recourse to take when you feel things are falling apart. Off load the pain a little bit to get the courage to carry on.

Daily writing prompt
What strategies do you use to cope with negative feelings?
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Shades of Hobbies

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I love learning new new things especially when it comes to art. I love painting, drawing and craftwork. I have tried multiple mediums pencils, acrylic paint, spray paint, fabric paint, alcohol markers and so on.

I can spend hours together on one single painting. By the time I am done I am in a much more better mood and time passing by just becomes an after thought.

I had heard that art is healing and experiencing it first hand I completely agree! I love watching art videos on Youtube. There are so many talented artists out there. I have added a few of my favorite videos for you guys to see.

All these artists really inspire me to try expanding my art skills and that has resulted me to become “A Jack of all, but King of none!”. But I am hopeful that the more I practice I will soon get better at it.

Daily writing prompt
What activities do you lose yourself in?
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Guilty as Charged

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Anytime the word superstition is mentioned it is met with the judgement. “Don’t be silly”, “Use your brain”, these are the common phrases I hear and sometimes what I use too.

Education helps us get over most over the superstitions that have been passed down to us over centuries. But it would be remiss if I say I do not have any.

When I am too happy or rolling around with laughs I get this fleeting thought that something horrible is going to happen.

I do not travel on the first of the month because I believe the would be a death in the family. Well, there was one instance where it did happen and ever since then I have not been able to shake it off.

I say “touch wood” when I am say something I am hopeful or appreciative off. I do this cause I believe the in the “evil eye”, we not may intentionally mean harm but some cosmic events may result in something bad happening.

People would say “Faith above all else” and I believe in that. I believe that no matter what things will happen God will take care of it.

If someone were to ask why do I have such unfounded beliefs, I really don’t have an answer. I think it out of hope, I seriously hope and wish for that things turn out good. Maybe being a little superstitious feeds fuel to the fire of my hope. 🙂

“We need hope, or else we cannot endure.”
— Sarah J. Maas

Daily writing prompt
Are you superstitious?
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Not an Easy Answer

Published on by wordhues5 Comments

I love most animals.. I say most because I am also scared of some of them. They are all creatures that were created by God. You just have to look at each one and know that every one of them are special and unique.

I think animals are pure. They have their inherent nature and do not live to hurt but rather to survive. People say “animal behavior” considering us humans to be better.

We were created in God’s image out of His love for us but that in no terms makes us greater, cause it’s His love that makes us unique.

I do not know enough about the beautiful creations of God to compare myself to them. I think we humans know so little about them it would be impossible to give an answer. Anything I say would be out of what I think I know about them and that won’t be the right answer. Maybe someday, when I have a better knowledge I will have an answer to this question.

Daily writing prompt
Which animal would you compare yourself to and why?
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*Missing*

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I do not have a middle name. When I asked my parents why I do not have a middle name. The reason that was given to me was “We did not want you to have a long name. We should have given you your grandmother’s name as a middle name but we instead made it your first name. “

The answer makes of sense. At least to me. To share a little secret a short name makes filling the hundreds of forms in my lifetime a little bit easier and I was really thankful to my parents for that. Do I miss having a middle name? Absolutely not! Do I hate middle names? No to that too.

I love finding out peoples middle names cause they hold great meaning. When I learn why they were given those names it clearly shows how much parents worry about. Something as simple as a name also is selected with so much care.

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Cheers to the parents and their long elimination process to pick out the perfect name for their child!

Daily writing prompt
What is your middle name? Does it carry any special meaning/significance?
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You have No One

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Let’s be real, everyday I learn something new it could be life lessons or something I have to learn for classes or work.

Rather than something I have learnt it I want to share something I have realized. I have people who genuinely love me with no expectations and they try their best to protect me from harm. But sometime, even despite that I find myself alone.

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I am considered as the rebellious one because I always say what is on my mind. Or at least I did. I usually fight for things when I have a strong feeling about it. Often, I come out of the fight with a feeling of anger and a hidden feeling of grief. Over the years, I chose not to argue cause that did not hurt me further.

However, for crucial choices of my life, I gave into the what others wanted or more like needed. In the path of not wanting to stand out, I gave up pieces of my sanity. Today, when I want to get out of the bad situation, I have walls built by the very people who love me. I may be selfish thinking about myself only not worried about how my decision would effect others. But I think today I have reached the limit of my tolerance.

And so I realized that there are people who will support you in different decisions of your life but not all of them. To them, some of your choices may seem crazy and that is okay. Somedays you need to make the choices that make you happy, even if it means you have to make them alone.

Daily writing prompt
What is the last thing you learned?
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What’s Next?

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I despise the question of “what’s next?” no matter who asks it.

I am a person who doesn’t plan for anything. I literally prefer to live in the moment. I have huge dreams and I do work towards it. But if you ask me what is my plan… I will not have an answer.

People keep pestering you till we achieve something and if you hope that once you do achieve it you are done with it, you are wrong. It is like they are just waiting for you to finish one hurdle to start nagging you about the next one.

I still don’t get the logic behind their interest. Sometimes I just want to give a snarky reply like — “I live or die. What specific ailment does that cause you?” or “Don’t you have anything else to do with your life that you are commenting on mine” or “Not like you have achieved anything great in the past decade”. But I bite my tongue, take a deep breath and brush of the words and keep smiling.

I feel one should not ask such questions, tomorrow is not pre-determined. I have certainly developed anxiety because of all the question from all the people. What they do not realize is, we all adapt to the situations we are faced with. Some handle it with meticulous planning while others chose to “wing it”. Regardless, I think that everyone at some point in their life are hit with a situation where they do not know their next step.

I think rather than asking what’s next, one can say “One step at a time. You have done your best, I believe you will continue to do your best. I am here if you need me.”

Daily writing prompt
What is one question you hate to be asked? Explain.
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Try Again

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Failing made me realize one crucial thing.

It was okay to fall, what you do after that is what matters. It took me some while to figure that out but I finally did.

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The failure that I will always remember is when I failed in my accountancy paper,\ over and over again. My teacher told me that there was no way that I would pass in my finals given my track record. At that time, I truly believed that was true. No matter how hard I tried I never understood anything. I felt dumb, useless.

And then there was a small shift, I studied hard with tears in my eyes and fervent papers on my lips and finally I made it through my finals (even though it was just barely).

I don’t exactly remember when accountancy got easier, but today I am pursuing a career in it.

I realized that my success took time, but as long as a kept trying, even failures eventually give up. The joy you get after failing numerous times, not giving up and finally getting that win — It is just beyond what words can explain.

Daily writing prompt
How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success?
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Failures

Published on by wordhues1 Comment

Not to be too cliche but it is true..

I am the kind of person who generally does not work hard for something. But sometimes I make that extra effort to get something I really want. I would plan and replan till it was just right. Then I would stay focused and strive hard but despite everything I failed.

Initially, I used to think that was the end and just give up. When I would see others achieve what I could not I would make myself smaller. I kept thinking that I could not do it cause I was not good enough.

However, one day I decided to fight after may failure. And I realized the second time around I was easily able to navigate the mistakes and though it took me a couple of times to actually win, I eventually did.

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I realized that with every attempt I got better and faster. That was the turning point for me. I learnt to fight from then on. No matter how long it takes I will keep trying.

Like Edison said — “I have not failed, but found a 1000 ways how not to make one.”

What experiences in life helped you grow the most?

Love to Hate it

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Do I love my “job”? It would depend on the day you ask me. I think everyone has those days where the stress of the job does not seem worth the pay of it.

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When I think about it I love the “work” I do. I chose my career path and am excited about learning new things. However, I have a need to give 100% to anything I do and when I can’t do that, I tend to get upset. My parents have instilled in me to be sincere to the job that pays the bill and I always try I do my best. The job is not always about the “work” though, it includes navigating through people’s expectations, office politics and sometimes unfair situations. Most days you handle it but some days it just gets you and then the job feels like a burden.

For me, my job keeps me occupied and there is only so many days I can “relax”. As a added advantage if I am working I not worrying and I welcome that break. But, I want to be so much more than just my job. I want to do things which does not need me to be perfect it just requires me to make progress.

I have realized to enjoy my job, I need to find the balance of perfect at my job and learning to take things lighter when doing art or writing. I have made small efforts to balance out my life this year and it has made a difference. Little by little I will reach where I intend to.

Daily writing prompt
Do you enjoy your job?
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