Naturally Beautiful

How would you design the city of the future?

Given that I have no architecture knowledge, I would choose to refrain from designing a city for the future. I would rather someone who would be able to build a city without harming nature. I do not know the exact word for it, but it could be “sustainable architecture”.

One or the other day, we share how nature is claiming back the land. We humans have made things without the thought of how it harms others and now we pay the price.

Maybe this is not something that would be constituted as a design, but I want proper road markers. I don’t do well with phone directions and maybe proper markers that I can actually spot in the map might help.

In conclusion, I would want to build a beautiful city that preserves the beauty of the nature that it was built in.

Home is where the Heart is…

What do you love about where you live?

When I think about the places I have lived nothing specific comes to mind. If someone want to ask me why I chose to stay in certain place, I really don’t have an answer to it.

It could be because I have never really given it a second thought. In most of the instances I ended up staying in a place because of the stage of life I was in.

As a child, I stayed with my parents, so where their jobs took them. We ended up setting up in those places. When I got older, I chose a place where I wanted to pursue my higher education and when I got even more older, I chose the place, but I got a job.

The one thing that I do know is that I might have chosen those places because of an underlying reason. However, overtime, I made my home in those places. I went out, explore things that I like found reasons to feel happy in the place that I was.

So, in short, what I love about the place where I live, is that I have my home there.

Happy

What positive emotion do you feel most often?

Saying that happiness is the most often emotion or more like positive emotion that I have may seem like a lie.

As a person who is living with depression, most days, I wake up weak and tired and just frustrated with life. However, when I see my mother gaze fondly at her grandchildren in that moment, I am happy. She had to leave my sister and me back in our hometown with our grandparents when we were babies because she couldn’t afford to take us along with her. She missed our childhood, but I’m glad that she gets to see the childhood of her grandchildren at least.

When I see the joy in my sisters eye, every time she shares with us, her achievement, her individual achievement, it makes me happy. She has gone through a lot to finally find something of a room and that she found it. It makes me feel like she can start to be happy for herself.

When I see my father bring back a fruit or a vegetable from his home garden and I see the pride with which she brings it. It makes me happy. He loves agriculture, and when he was healthier and younger, I think she dreamt of going back home and having a land filled with beautiful trees and plants. He gave it up because he had to provide for his family. It may not be a lot, but the small area in which he has planted the few household vegetables and fruits is cherished as a testament to his passion.

I think no matter how sad I am as long as my family is happy. That is a good memory for me. That is happiness for me. I wish I could be the reason for that happiness. Just like they are for me.

So to conclude, I stop focusing on myself, the emotion that I feel the most is happy.

A Night to Remember

If you could host a dinner and anyone you invite was sure to come, who would you invite?

If I could invite anyone to dinner….

On first thought, I think maybe I would want to invite my favourite artist or writer or celebrity. Then I think again I don’t have anything common with them. I might not like them.

Maybe I wanna invite my old friends or teachers, but then again what if they have changed from the last time I met them. Or what if they see changing me which they don’t like?

I think to myself, maybe I am being a little shallow, and I should probably just invite my family, the people I love. But I have dinner with them every day.

But then, I give it a little more thought. Do I really want to have dinner with someone specifically? No, not really. Just imagine the work it would take to make the dinner, set the table, make pleasant conversation, and the cleanup after!

If I were to ever have the opportunity to invite someone, and they could not refuse. I probably would want to go to an art gallery or a museum. This way I would enjoy the time and I would not have to stress about making the evening perfect.

Me

What do you think gets better with age?

A little too cliche? I could say something like wine or cheese or any other thing. However, I’ve come to realise that the best version of me is always the tomorrow version of me.

Throughout my life, I’ve always had someone trying to advise me or teach me what is right and wrong. They do it to protect me to not make the same mistakes they did, but I have come to realise that my mistakes are the ones that teach me the best.

I have fallen into the most worst situations after not listening to the advice of my elders and notice that I end up, making the same mistakes over and over again. Till I finally draw the line myself,

I have learnt to work hard, even when everything feels like it’s crashing down on me. I have learnt not to hurt others just because I am hurting, I learnt that some days are filled with hopelessness, but you still keep fighting for that one day or one moment of happiness.

I think time has taught me to accept and move on. It has taught me that today is wrong, may just be tomorrow’s right.

I am grateful for what the years have taught me, and I am grateful for the years I may have left. I hope that everyone hold on and get to see the better version of themselves like I have.

Whenever Possible

What time do you go to bed and wake up currently?

I wish I could say that I have a proper sleep regiment. However, like most adults I sleep when I have the time to sleep.

When I was a kid, I remember crying and throwing a tantrum any time, my parents told me that it was time to sleep. Little did I know that when I grow up sleep would be the one thing that I crave the most.

During university days, late night parties, and midnight plans was something that was considered ritual. But now that I have started working and the reality of life has hit me, even when I am exhausted. I sometimes end up, sacrificing sleep to study or work.

I did try to stick to schedule where I woke up early and went to bed early, but that lasted about two weeks, so now I do not look at the clock anymore, the moment I feel drowsy, I whatever it is that I am working on and go to sleep.

And to wake up like most independent individuals, I keep about 8 to 10 alarms, which I snooze over 10 to 15 times before finally giving up and waking up to my day.

Absolutely Nothing

Being a pessimistic person really puts a dent in being excited about the future.

I want big things in the future but the focus and determination to achieve it often fades away after a few hours.

Since I don’t make the effort it obvious enough that I won’t actually reach my goals. I always think if I make all the effort and fail I would be upset more so instead I procrastinate.

I am learning to be hopeful again about my future and maybe soon I will also learn to be excited about it as well. 😊

What are you most excited about for the future?

Empty Conversations?

I am not one for conversations. I choose to brood over things in my solitude.

It took me sometime but the only time I do “talk” to people is when I want a distraction. Random empty conversations might not add to anything useful in my life but they stop my mind from attacking me. Even if it is just for a short duration in that moment all my worries go to the back of my mind.

On rare occasions that I have a “heart-to-heart” conversations with someone it helps me realize that my life is much better than most people. It gives me a perspective other from my own and I get will to fight a little longer.

So contradictory to most people’s opinion, in my opinion empty conversations do have value.

Daily writing prompt
Who would you like to talk to soon?

Time before Unknown

I am not sure how technology has changed my job.

By the time I started working computers and wi-fi were old news. I think in today’s world, since the changes happen consistently and rapidly, it just seems like that is the way things always are. It would be extremely difficult to segregate a time before and a time after.

Wish I had more to say but that’s all for today. Hoping for a better topic for tomorrow.

Daily writing prompt
How has technology changed your job?

Heart ache

When you are a kid the worst thing that can happen would be breaking up with your best friends. We get so attached to people who were strangers. That on one day when they just say things that are so mean we wither a little.

I was a very emotional person, the first time I fought with my “best” friend I fell apart. This short note was written amidst flowing tears and a hand wrapped around my mouth to stifle the noise of crying. When I think of it today I wonder to myself – How could I have been that naive? Anyways, I got over that and many more worst situations. Glad that I made it.

WHEN ONE’S HEART ACHES

When one’s heart aches what can they think,
what can they tell, what can they shed nothing at all…
When a person heart breaks it shattered into a million pieces,
just one hit, yet no sound is heard..
When one’s heart is stabbed a million times the wound deepens but is noticed by none.
It happens in just a second but nobody knows.
When a person loses all hope,
When living has no meaning,
When dying makes no sense,
When emotions die out,
When positivism is replaced by negativism,
When love has gone away.
When loneliness grabs you,
When silence surrounds you,
When happiness is replaced by grief,
When you think it will never be your day,
When memories taunt you,
When ambitions scare you,
When dreams tear you,
When one’s heart aches..

A time when you only think about this world.
A time when the Lord stands so near,
Waiting for you to turn to Him.
When the love of God captures you,
When you know you can live on,
When you realize the life isn’t bad.
When you know that, He is there to help you at a turning or crossroad.
When the lost smile returns in a while,
When He lifts you from the pit of misery,
When He gives His happiness to you as a gift.
When a one’s heart aches, He must run to God and not to human fraud.
Dear Lord, lead me, mould me and teach me Your ways.
Help me forget all of my sadness,
With You I get forever gladness,
May I be forever happy with You even if my heart aches..