What was the last thing you searched for online? Why were you looking for it?
I love stationary, and I seem to have a bit of a problem. I keep buying new notebooks and pens and markers, but never actually use them.
As a part of my New Year resolution, I decided that I am going to use the stationary that I’ve already purchased and overcome the irrational fear that I might not get it again. 
All of my recent searches have been of journal ideas to fill out the blank books lying around. I hope that one day soon I can have ideas without requiring the help of a Pinterest board.
My favourite time of the day is the early hours of dawn. When the sun is just rising from the horizon and the dark sky slowly gets its hues of orange.
Just for those few minutes, you see the world transform from night to day. The sound of crickets die down , and the far chirps of birds fill the air. The air you breathe seems so fresh. It feels like the air after rainfall by the dust has all settled down and you could almost smell nature in its true its form.
It is also the time that the world is at its quietest. For that moment, you can actually hear yourself think and everything feels so calm and comforting.
Even though I consider myself a night owl, I love those 20 to 30 minutes of blissful silence that the morning gives me.
Tell us about the last thing you got excited about.
I am the youngest daughter to my parents. Being the youngest child, I was never left alone that does not go to say that I’m not independent. It just means that there was never a circumstance where I had to be the only person making the decision.
This may not be the last thing I got excited about this definitely is the most significant thing that I got excited about the first time I got to live alone. I had always dreamt of having my own home or a tiny apartment where I could do everything according to my vision.
The first time I stepped into my new home, I felt immense joy and pride. For rhe next few months, whether it be a new rug, or utensils for the kitchen or table cloth for the dinner table. it felt amazing to have that sort of freedom in making the choices that was right for me. I did not have to hide my journals or my artwork in the fear of being judged.
My home, actually reflected what I was, and seeing that made me happy.
When I think about the places I have lived nothing specific comes to mind. If someone want to ask me why I chose to stay in certain place, I really don’t have an answer to it.
It could be because I have never really given it a second thought. In most of the instances I ended up staying in a place because of the stage of life I was in.
As a child, I stayed with my parents, so where their jobs took them. We ended up setting up in those places. When I got older, I chose a place where I wanted to pursue my higher education and when I got even more older, I chose the place, but I got a job.
The one thing that I do know is that I might have chosen those places because of an underlying reason. However, overtime, I made my home in those places. I went out, explore things that I like found reasons to feel happy in the place that I was.
So, in short, what I love about the place where I live, is that I have my home there.
Saying that happiness is the most often emotion or more like positive emotion that I have may seem like a lie.
As a person who is living with depression, most days, I wake up weak and tired and just frustrated with life. However, when I see my mother gaze fondly at her grandchildren in that moment, I am happy. She had to leave my sister and me back in our hometown with our grandparents when we were babies because she couldn’t afford to take us along with her. She missed our childhood, but I’m glad that she gets to see the childhood of her grandchildren at least.
When I see the joy in my sisters eye, every time she shares with us, her achievement, her individual achievement, it makes me happy. She has gone through a lot to finally find something of a room and that she found it. It makes me feel like she can start to be happy for herself.
When I see my father bring back a fruit or a vegetable from his home garden and I see the pride with which she brings it. It makes me happy. He loves agriculture, and when he was healthier and younger, I think she dreamt of going back home and having a land filled with beautiful trees and plants. He gave it up because he had to provide for his family. It may not be a lot, but the small area in which he has planted the few household vegetables and fruits is cherished as a testament to his passion.
I think no matter how sad I am as long as my family is happy. That is a good memory for me. That is happiness for me. I wish I could be the reason for that happiness. Just like they are for me.
So to conclude, I stop focusing on myself, the emotion that I feel the most is happy.
I wouldn’t consider myself an artist, but I would consider myself as a person who loves art.
Whenever I am stressed out or just need a break from reality, I turn to artwork. I know that there are people better than me and who are much more advanced in terms of technique. And for a long time, I hesitated to make my own art out of fear that people will ridicule me.
But now I enjoy any form of art, I can sit making a painting or drawing up a new anime character and I would never realise the passage of time. Just this last weekend, I spent 14 hours on drawing my favourite Pokémon characters and after the whole ordeal I wasn’t exhausted but rather refreshed.
I have come to realise that art actually helps me calm down. It makes my mind stop with its multitasking and over brooding and just focus at the piece of paper in front of me.
Some would say that it’s a waste of time, but for me, it centres me. It is a form of therapy that I never thought I needed. Now that I have realised the value of it, I ain’t ever letting it go.
If you could host a dinner and anyone you invite was sure to come, who would you invite?
If I could invite anyone to dinner….
On first thought, I think maybe I would want to invite my favourite artist or writer or celebrity. Then I think again I don’t have anything common with them. I might not like them.
Maybe I wanna invite my old friends or teachers, but then again what if they have changed from the last time I met them. Or what if they see changing me which they don’t like?
I think to myself, maybe I am being a little shallow, and I should probably just invite my family, the people I love. But I have dinner with them every day.
But then, I give it a little more thought. Do I really want to have dinner with someone specifically? No, not really. Just imagine the work it would take to make the dinner, set the table, make pleasant conversation, and the cleanup after!
If I were to ever have the opportunity to invite someone, and they could not refuse. I probably would want to go to an art gallery or a museum. This way I would enjoy the time and I would not have to stress about making the evening perfect.
A little too cliche? I could say something like wine or cheese or any other thing. However, I’ve come to realise that the best version of me is always the tomorrow version of me.
Throughout my life, I’ve always had someone trying to advise me or teach me what is right and wrong. They do it to protect me to not make the same mistakes they did, but I have come to realise that my mistakes are the ones that teach me the best.
I have fallen into the most worst situations after not listening to the advice of my elders and notice that I end up, making the same mistakes over and over again. Till I finally draw the line myself,
I have learnt to work hard, even when everything feels like it’s crashing down on me. I have learnt not to hurt others just because I am hurting, I learnt that some days are filled with hopelessness, but you still keep fighting for that one day or one moment of happiness.
I think time has taught me to accept and move on. It has taught me that today is wrong, may just be tomorrow’s right.
I am grateful for what the years have taught me, and I am grateful for the years I may have left. I hope that everyone hold on and get to see the better version of themselves like I have.
Sometimes I like to draw up a warm bath and read a nice book. Or maybe just order in food and put on a K-drama on TV and binge watch till I fall asleep.
But the best thing I like to do is to draw. I love any sort of art. It disconnects me from the world and makes me just happy.
If you were to ask me yesterday I would say settled, owning a small business, maybe a house and car.
However, today I am philosophical, as I speculated on the prompt the answer that came to my mind was “How the hell would I know?”. All I see when I think 10 years ahead is uncertainty.
I feel that every situation in my life makes me make a choice and that in turn changes the course of my life. On any other day I would stress out and want to fight harder to get back on track. But today, I am choosing to keep making progress it may not be what I initially planned but that is okay.
I may not achieve things by the initial timeline I set for them, but, as long as I keep trying there is a hope that I will get there eventually.
Word Hues 