It was okay to fall, what you do after that is what matters. It took me some while to figure that out but I finally did.
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The failure that I will always remember is when I failed in my accountancy paper,\ over and over again. My teacher told me that there was no way that I would pass in my finals given my track record. At that time, I truly believed that was true. No matter how hard I tried I never understood anything. I felt dumb, useless.
And then there was a small shift, I studied hard with tears in my eyes and fervent papers on my lips and finally I made it through my finals (even though it was just barely).
I don’t exactly remember when accountancy got easier, but today I am pursuing a career in it.
I realized that my success took time, but as long as a kept trying, even failures eventually give up. The joy you get after failing numerous times, not giving up and finally getting that win — It is just beyond what words can explain.
Daily writing prompt
How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success?
I am the kind of person who generally does not work hard for something. But sometimes I make that extra effort to get something I really want. I would plan and replan till it was just right. Then I would stay focused and strive hard but despite everything I failed.
Initially, I used to think that was the end and just give up. When I would see others achieve what I could not I would make myself smaller. I kept thinking that I could not do it cause I was not good enough.
However, one day I decided to fight after may failure. And I realized the second time around I was easily able to navigate the mistakes and though it took me a couple of times to actually win, I eventually did.
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I realized that with every attempt I got better and faster. That was the turning point for me. I learnt to fight from then on. No matter how long it takes I will keep trying.
Like Edison said — “I have not failed, but found a 1000 ways how not to make one.”
What experiences in life helped you grow the most?
Do I love my “job”? It would depend on the day you ask me. I think everyone has those days where the stress of the job does not seem worth the pay of it.
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When I think about it I love the “work” I do. I chose my career path and am excited about learning new things. However, I have a need to give 100% to anything I do and when I can’t do that, I tend to get upset. My parents have instilled in me to be sincere to the job that pays the bill and I always try I do my best. The job is not always about the “work” though, it includes navigating through people’s expectations, office politics and sometimes unfair situations. Most days you handle it but some days it just gets you and then the job feels like a burden.
For me, my job keeps me occupied and there is only so many days I can “relax”. As a added advantage if I am working I not worrying and I welcome that break. But, I want to be so much more than just my job. I want to do things which does not need me to be perfect it just requires me to make progress.
I have realized to enjoy my job, I need to find the balance of perfect at my job and learning to take things lighter when doing art or writing. I have made small efforts to balance out my life this year and it has made a difference. Little by little I will reach where I intend to.
My whole life has been on the principle of “Let’s wing it!”. Ironically, I have attended so many sessions that were around planning and organizing to achieve future goals. However, I still have not learnt the art of setting goals and achieving them.
If there was a biography, the whole book would talk about how without any sort of planning and fore thought I have taken up the most biggest challenges of my life.
Despite all odds, I have attained what had I set out to. Meticulous planning, Dream boards, Goal setting may work for others but for me, “unplanned” works best.
I may not have anything written down and I may ended up taking longer than required, but I get there. Cheers to the ones that have no script to follow!
Daily writing prompt
If there was a biography about you, what would the title be?
The plot is an adaptation of the web novel of the same name. It follows the life of Kang Ji-won, a middle class working woman who is diagnosed with late stage stomach cancer.
She is portrayed as an ordinary woman – timid, hardworking and in simple terms the “not so popular”. She is married to Park Min-hwan, who was initially shown as a caring partner but changes since their marriage. Post the marriage he chose to quit his job and ended up being a burden to Ji-won. Things were just made worse by his mother who thought that her son could do nothing wrong and in turn pressurized Ji-won to work harder.
The stress takes it’s toll and she ends up falling sick. In those times her closest friend Jung Soo-min was her only companion when she battling with cancer. Her friend regularly visited her during treatments and encouraged her to fight.
Little did she know that her life was about to be turned upside down when she was sent back home from the hospital due to non payment of the hospital bills. When she arrived at home the scene in front was that of her husband cheating on her with her closest friend. They all the while were plotting a way to get rid of her to cash on the life insurance.
She threw a fit of rage on discovering the truth but neither of them regretted on what they did to her. They said “The living needs to keep on living” and in the scuffle pushed her sending her crashing to the floor. She saw her life drain out of her.
When she wakes up again she is back to the year 2013. To a time before she made all the wrong decisions in her life. Given the opportunity to change her fate, she now has to make the right choices to ensure a better future than the one she lived.
The series follows the changes she makes to enact her revenge on the ones that had killed her and all the while claiming her right to to a “Fairytale Happy Ever After”. With the help of her romantic interest Yoo Ji-hyuk who seems to be in a time loop of his own they sought to alter the present to make their future one in which they finally win.
In my opinion, it is a light-hearted revenge tale which is a nice break from reality giving the viewers the motivation that it is never to late to change their destiny.
I am a serial procrastinator. I sometimes astonish myself at the level of laziness I have. I can go days achieving absolutely nothing in life. It’s not because I don’t have goals for myself. I do. I noticed that the fervor that I have when I am in a particular moment does not replicate when the time to actually works towards it comes around.
I accounted everything to laziness and that everything in life came to me easy and that I did not want to strive for it. But then like most non medical professionals I sought to find my answers on the internet.
Apparently, procrastination is a disruptive mental health issue. I don’t have a great general knowledge but sometimes I like reading about certain topics. So, I researched a little further to understand the cause and how to get better. My experience with depression has made me realize that you may not be able to avoid situations completely but you can always manage the impact of it.
There were few things that I could relate to with the causes : Perfectionism and Disconnection from the Future.
I needed things to be just right. It can’t be done as “Not so bad”. It has to be of the level that it garners appreciation on the efforts. So, when I did not meet my expectations I gave up.
Future, Hopes and Dreams. I had given up on it all. I felt that there was no point. I had nothing worth fighting for.
Today, I am trying again. I am going to make good habits of things I want to get done. I need to force myself to do it every day till my body learns that it needs to do it. Hopefully, soon I will make constant steady seps to my goals. I have completed month 1 of writing my blog and learning a new language. Hopefully, by the end of this year I will have a set of 10 to 12 habits than will bring me closer to my goals.
Now this is a question I certainly should not answer.
Communication of any sort has been a problem for me. What I mean and what I actually say always end up being different. Funny thing is when I take a step back and rethink I understand why people react the way they do the first time around. I noticed that the best form of communication I have is when my words usually swirl in my mind and then onto paper.
Considering that, you would think I love writing emails, or posting on social media. However, it is not the case. Guess I like talking to myself most of the time. 🙂
This year around, I have started to make a change. I now have started with my blog (more like continued) and soon the many videos and tutorials are going to start showing up in my prospective YouTube channel. Fingers crossed. Here’s to adopting change!
Word Hues 