Without a doubt Christmas is my most favorite holiday of the year and also the most waited!
We may have a million different problems in our life that weigh us down. But when Christmas comes around we forget about all that pain and hurt that the year brought us. We come together as a family and enjoy every minute of the joy we share together.
We bake cake and cookies. Often ending with baking fails of raw cake and burnt cookies. We decorate the Christmas tree and our home. Often spending more time in debating how the decoration should look like rather than actually getting the decoration done.
But the best of all we spend hours talking and listening to each other. And just like that you get the strength to fight for one more year.
Share a lesson you wish you had learned earlier in life.
All through my childhood I have heard this “Money can’t buy happiness”. When it comes to my parents and sister it definitely holds true. We did not have a rich lifestyle. We had no luxury travels or spa vacations. However, I had the most amazing childhood filled with happiness and the most craziest of memories.
As the years have gone by, my parents have gotten older. I have seen how the so called “relations” have changed the way they treat my parents. Till my parents helped them financial they were respected as elders in the house. Now that they are retired and confined to their small lives they cannot afford to spend much on others. I have seen my parents give up on their desires to make others happy. They limited their happiness to that of their family.
Now that I have grown up I want to at least try to give them some of their desires. To achieve that, I need to make money. Where money needs to to be spent it needs to be spent. And sometimes money can buy happiness. I want to take them on an trip maybe a cruise. It may not be something that they want but I want them to experience the “Luxuries” of life. I want them to have food in a fancy restaurant. I may not be able to remove the pain in their life. However, I want to give them some happy memories. They shouldn’t have to worry about the price tag associated with it.
I think this prompt is a weird one. I mean who asks “what could you try for the first time?”. I could try anything but I would try only those that I want too.
If I were to try something for the first time in food, it would maybe be Italian food. Particularly ravioli. I think I have eaten it when I was younger but I don’t remember it. Some where in my teenage years I fell sick after eating pasta and since then I have ran away from anything close to Italian. I have a family whole loves to explore new types of cuisine. All the while I sit in the corner with my fried chicken and fries. I hope that one day soon I can also come to appreciate the different cuisines around the world.
If I were to try something for the first time in activities, it would be deep sea diving. I find the life below the sea quite fascinating. But the sharks are definitely a factor that has deterred me from pursuing this activity. I mean I like the colorful fishes, but the teeth on the shark is enough to have me running in the other direction.
There are a million things that I want to try doing. I am super hesitant to try new things. However, I want to change that about me. Maybe start with one new thing a month and then slowly and gradually make it a habit.
I love collecting stuff. Over my lifetime I have had various collections.
I used to collect tiny shells whenever we visited the beach. I used to collect flower petals and dry them out. I used to collect recipes that I hoped to make one day. I used to collect old tattered notes from different countries.
Though I have given up collecting almost all of the things that I used to in my childhood I do still collect items.
I have continued my collection of stationery. Over the years I think it has almost converted to a sort of addiction. I still collect coins and notes. My collection of recipes has changed to an electronic format. I still love collecting cute hair clips though some might not consider it age appropriate. My collection of accessories has been reduced, I chose to get rid of the chains and keep only the pendants.
I think I would always have the instinct to collect items when my interest sparks in it. And I also am aware that when time passes as my interest changes so will my collections.
I feel bad that I can’t instantly tap into my happy memories.
Adulting is hard. The older I get I feel the more I forget about my childhood.
As this prompt showed up on my dashboard, I thought it would be something that I could easily write about. However, the next 1 hour was all about me wrecking my brain trying to remember the last fun thing I did.
When I think about the last 5 years I draw up a blank. I mean, am I so boring. I think I let the “reality of life” take too much of a forefront in all my choices. I got so caught up in completing my education, getting a job, achieving my future goals that I forgot to enjoy today.
I do have the occasional zone out days where I end up going to quite places to connect with nature. I feel that it helps me connect with myself. But I think I need to make time for my childhood self. Time to remember my childhood self.
The last time I had fun, 5 years ago was when I went to the children’s arcade with my closest friend and we went crazy. We played all the games. We won in nothing. Wasted a lot of money. But I remember laughing. Laughing without a care in the world. The kind of laugh I had used to get when going on the swing or sliding down a slide.
I am going to try finding that laugh again. I am going to try to at least make one such memory this year.
I have always gone to the beach as a child. I have many happy memories associated with the beach. Going to malls and park always entailed a cost and beach trips were the most pocket friendly option that we had. My parents always took time out of their week to make time to take us out. My mom prepared snacks and dad carried his fishing rod along. We spent hours on beach returning home with tanned skins and exhaustion that made us pass out as soon as our heads hit the pillow.
On the other hand, though I have not been on top of a “mountain”. I have had some chances to go to the top of hills and the cold breeze and fog is just mesmerizing. The air is cold as it enters your lungs and you can see every breath. Every breathe feels pure and healing. I could sit hours together taking in the beauty of nature (Of course I would need warm clothing to last in that cold).
To make a choice would almost be criminal. And in this case, I would own my indecisiveness and I prefer not to choose. Each aspect of nature gives me a new experience to behold and I choose to embrace each and every memory that it gives me.
In my formative years going on stage would make me run in the other direction. I tried to avoid any such opportunity.
Even if I did end upon stage, I measured all my words and internally counted the seconds till I finally got off that platform.
I used to participate in group events. though. As long as I am not alone I would be okay. As long as no one notices me it would be fine. i used to keep repeating this lines over and over. As an added protection, I would not wear my glasses to stage. I could not see them so I could not fear them.
Then as I got older, we had presentation and speeches to give as part of the curriculum. Imagine trying to read the notes without the glasses. So for the first time I gave a presentation with my glasses on. When I was done and off the stage, I literally blacked out. I would say that I survived those college years.
It was my first job that changed things for me. The first time I was asked to give a presentation to the management I fumbled and ended up laughing from the panic. To my surprise, instead of being annoyed by my mishap the directors joined in laugh with me. They said they need a minute to calm down and asked for a break. I knew the break was to compose myself and start again. And even though I made multiple mistakes after the first one. They kept encouraging me to go on with warm smiles on their faces.
That was my turn around. I got better and more spontaneous. I learnt to give speeches, conduct events, and even participate in debates. Over time, I didn’t need note cards anymore.
I still have stage fear. Every time I am done with a stage event, my hands are trembling. However, I do not let that hold me back anymore. I do not back down from stage situations and try my best.
I am not a person who travels much. I think the commotion of popular tourist spots makes me feel anxious. But if I could get over this fear I would want to travel to every city in the world.
There are so many beautiful places around the world that seem so mesmerizing in the pictures and videos.
There are the popular cities like Paris, London, Tokyo, Seoul, Rome in my list. But if there is one that tops my list: Santorini. I do not know if I if the pictures really show the true picture, but as much as I have seen, its simply beautiful!
If you were to ask what is that I specifically want to visit. I have zero information. Its the calmness that the pictures portray that drag me to that place. I feel that I will get my “Breath of Fresh Air”. One day soon I hope to visit. It may not be the first city that I get to visit. However, I wish to visit it at least once before I am too tired to travel.
All my life I have been pursuing the objective of security. “Work hard to secure a stable future. Don’t deviate from the course. ” these were the mantras I followed almost all my life.
Uncertainties terrify me. I do not like to be caught off guard. I am from a middle class family. we never had a back up plan. We just had one plan and if we failed we ended up with nothing. My father took on the burden of his younger siblings when he was in high school. And when he married my mother his responsibilities became theirs.
I have seen them work hard all their lives. They gave up the adventure phase of a newly married couple to take on the role of providers. Seeing them like that inherently instilled in me the need to secure my future. My formative youth years was all about securing a good job that would allow me to be a provider when I had to take the responsibility of a family. I always chose the path that was well traveled. Little did I know, what I was loosing in the process.
It took me some while to snap out of the fear to try. The first time I tried to do something new I thought I would die of a panic attack. But I did not. I ended up having fun. I smiled and laughed and enjoyed my life. Being adventurous is definitely terrifying but taking the leap is worth all the happy memories.
Today, I try to embrace adventures whenever I can. Sometimes I feel drained but sometimes I end my day with a smile on face. There are a hundred things in my life right now that makes me want to cry so I have decided I am going to grab every opportunity that comes my way to smile.
I may not be able to handle excitement every single day of my life. But I would want to keep taking chances and giving up on the fear of change.
I cannot out right say that I am a good judge of someone’s character.
There are days that I am on the more skeptical side of my nature and tend hone into that when deciding to trust someone. On the other hand, there are days that even if I am hit with red flags on after the other I give the person the benefit of doubt and make.. for a lack of a better word “Stupid” assumptions about the person.
I think I tend to be skeptical when others rely on me to make the right choices. I do not want to make the wrong choices which would end up putting others in trouble. I am more cautious and guarded when it comes to the people I love. I am down right territorial. I live the words “You want to hurt them, you go through me.”
Its ironic when you think of it. If my incorrect judgment will only affect me its like there are blinders on my common sense. I think I go by the policy, as long as I am the only one who gets hurt, it doesn’t matter. Not a very self preserving policy.
So in conclusion, I am a good judge of character when I have to protect someone and terrible judge when I have to protect myself.
Word Hues 