Without a doubt Christmas is my most favorite holiday of the year and also the most waited!
We may have a million different problems in our life that weigh us down. But when Christmas comes around we forget about all that pain and hurt that the year brought us. We come together as a family and enjoy every minute of the joy we share together.
We bake cake and cookies. Often ending with baking fails of raw cake and burnt cookies. We decorate the Christmas tree and our home. Often spending more time in debating how the decoration should look like rather than actually getting the decoration done.
But the best of all we spend hours talking and listening to each other. And just like that you get the strength to fight for one more year.
When somebody talks about relaxation, the first thing that comes to my mind is sleep.
I love sleeping. After working 12 hours days, my comfortable bed and warm blanket seems like heaven. It is my dream to sleep for 15 hours at a stretch, but somehow I always wake up at an eight hour mark.
The second most relaxing thing for me is a nice novel and a hot cup of hot chocolate. Reading always relaxes my mind. It takes me to places that can literally only be imagined. It’s somehow helps me forget all the worries of this world. The book literally transports me to a place in time where everything seems magical.
And of course, though I am not a foodie, good comfort food, really relaxes my soul. when I eat food that is prepared by either mom, dad or my elder sister for that moment, everything seems right with the world. It doesn’t matter that I had people yell at me throughout the day all that the frustration at work reached to a point where I just wanted to bang my head against the wall. Home made food always makes me feel better.
And in summation, sleep for the body, read for the mind and eat for the soul. The perfect recipe for relaxing day.
Who doesn’t smile seeing a baby making funny faces. The instant happiness you get seeing a child opening a gift. A little girl baking for her parents birthday and ending up as a flour covered doll. A child dancing in the rain without a care of the world.
For me, seeing the innocence in and other humans, bring an automatic smile to my face.
The world today is a cruel place. There is no place for innocence anymore.
Everyone is forced to grow up soon. Everywhere you turn it feels like the world is just filled with hatred and evil. We no longer see the good in the world. All we do is live in the constant fear of being harmed
Seeing someone being able to appreciate and enjoy the little joy of life brings a tear to my eyes. I wish that the world was little bit nicer so that we could hold onto our innocence, a little bit longer.
Every memory that we make would not be tainted with the fear of what could go wrong, but with just pure emotions of happiness. I wish we could be children again without the fear that knowing this world brings.
Tell us about the last thing you got excited about.
I am the youngest daughter to my parents. Being the youngest child, I was never left alone that does not go to say that I’m not independent. It just means that there was never a circumstance where I had to be the only person making the decision.
This may not be the last thing I got excited about this definitely is the most significant thing that I got excited about the first time I got to live alone. I had always dreamt of having my own home or a tiny apartment where I could do everything according to my vision.
The first time I stepped into my new home, I felt immense joy and pride. For rhe next few months, whether it be a new rug, or utensils for the kitchen or table cloth for the dinner table. it felt amazing to have that sort of freedom in making the choices that was right for me. I did not have to hide my journals or my artwork in the fear of being judged.
My home, actually reflected what I was, and seeing that made me happy.
When I think about the places I have lived nothing specific comes to mind. If someone want to ask me why I chose to stay in certain place, I really don’t have an answer to it.
It could be because I have never really given it a second thought. In most of the instances I ended up staying in a place because of the stage of life I was in.
As a child, I stayed with my parents, so where their jobs took them. We ended up setting up in those places. When I got older, I chose a place where I wanted to pursue my higher education and when I got even more older, I chose the place, but I got a job.
The one thing that I do know is that I might have chosen those places because of an underlying reason. However, overtime, I made my home in those places. I went out, explore things that I like found reasons to feel happy in the place that I was.
So, in short, what I love about the place where I live, is that I have my home there.
Saying that happiness is the most often emotion or more like positive emotion that I have may seem like a lie.
As a person who is living with depression, most days, I wake up weak and tired and just frustrated with life. However, when I see my mother gaze fondly at her grandchildren in that moment, I am happy. She had to leave my sister and me back in our hometown with our grandparents when we were babies because she couldn’t afford to take us along with her. She missed our childhood, but I’m glad that she gets to see the childhood of her grandchildren at least.
When I see the joy in my sisters eye, every time she shares with us, her achievement, her individual achievement, it makes me happy. She has gone through a lot to finally find something of a room and that she found it. It makes me feel like she can start to be happy for herself.
When I see my father bring back a fruit or a vegetable from his home garden and I see the pride with which she brings it. It makes me happy. He loves agriculture, and when he was healthier and younger, I think she dreamt of going back home and having a land filled with beautiful trees and plants. He gave it up because he had to provide for his family. It may not be a lot, but the small area in which he has planted the few household vegetables and fruits is cherished as a testament to his passion.
I think no matter how sad I am as long as my family is happy. That is a good memory for me. That is happiness for me. I wish I could be the reason for that happiness. Just like they are for me.
So to conclude, I stop focusing on myself, the emotion that I feel the most is happy.
A little too cliche? I could say something like wine or cheese or any other thing. However, I’ve come to realise that the best version of me is always the tomorrow version of me.
Throughout my life, I’ve always had someone trying to advise me or teach me what is right and wrong. They do it to protect me to not make the same mistakes they did, but I have come to realise that my mistakes are the ones that teach me the best.
I have fallen into the most worst situations after not listening to the advice of my elders and notice that I end up, making the same mistakes over and over again. Till I finally draw the line myself,
I have learnt to work hard, even when everything feels like it’s crashing down on me. I have learnt not to hurt others just because I am hurting, I learnt that some days are filled with hopelessness, but you still keep fighting for that one day or one moment of happiness.
I think time has taught me to accept and move on. It has taught me that today is wrong, may just be tomorrow’s right.
I am grateful for what the years have taught me, and I am grateful for the years I may have left. I hope that everyone hold on and get to see the better version of themselves like I have.
As a woman, I was always taught that we must sacrifice things for my family’s sake. To maintain the peace in the family.
It took me some time to figure out the difference between the two. I realized that pride is to feel superior to the others. And in most cases pride destroys everything. You tend to loose yourself in the battle to assert yourself as being better. The moment you let go of that pride you learn to accept things and people. Letting go of the pride needs to come from within it does not come from another’s advice. It happens when you realize that there is something more valuable that you will gain and letting go of your pride feels like freedom.
On the other hand, I also realized that not everything considered pride tends to be pride. Protecting your honor is not wrong. Honoring yourself is the truest form of self-love and though it is quite difficult to do, one must always try. Giving up your honor today, may not rock the boat today, but for the rest of your life you would have no harmony within yourself.
In one of the earlier prompts I have mentioned that the best gift that one could give me was their time. But moving on to a much tangible level, I think the best gifts I have received were those that were given out of love.
My sister has got me so many things over the years. She never said yours and mine. I got to get everything she owned. But I think the best thing she has given me was helping me understand the plot of Nancy Drew, Secret Seven, Sherlock Holmes, Harry Potter and so many other books. Basically, she introduced me to the world of magic in books. My sister is my sounding board, I can ask her all the weird questions my mind can come up with but she will find me an answer. When I was smaller and couldn’t read all that well she used to read the books and then explain the story in vivid details that I could just picture the whole story in my mind.
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One of my closest friend got me a coral jewelry set. At that age I was really fascinated by fashion jewelry and though we were not allowed to wear any to school. She remembered. From the many conversation that we have over our lunch boxes. She took the time to pick out something I would like and gift it to me. That was the first time that someone had gifted me something on my birthday. But she gave me something even more precious, a greeting card that she made on her own with the pictures of our group of friends. It’s been a decade since she gave it to me but I still have it with me, taking it along every time I move houses. And the end of the day she gave me her time.
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Another friend of mine, who is more closer to family than friend did something very unexpected. She dragged me to the shop to but me a pair of good shoes. And mind you they were not good shoes per “my standards”, it had to be good shoes according to her standards. She said she wanted me to get those shoes cause she saw me in pain. She said it is one less pain that I had to bear.
So to summarize, anything tangible or intangible, given out of love, is the best gifts I have received.
Each time we fought you got hurt but the scars were left on my heart, Each time we shared secrets you were relieved but I was always burdened. Each time we consoled each other you recovered but I sank further in, Each time I tried never to be the same I always failed and never did really change, Each time you shed tears some fell from mine but I never let you notice, Each time I fell I tried to get up on my own as I did not wan to be an obstacle in your way,
In your happiness I was happy but when I was sad no one cared, I thought of you as my driving force for living, As days went by I was no more part of your life, When the words you spoke made me sad I hid the tears that fell from my eyes for which I always regret, I once was an open book but as time passed I closed up myself, I never told you what you said hurt me but hoped you would realize but never did, I waited and waited for you to notice but you showed no signs of it,
So I accept it was my mistake, I hurt you, I made you cry but I hoped you would always remain mine, But now I know your happiness is not with me, I just want to say I am sorry, I can’t say anything else because you were and are my everything, I am sorry for everything I have have said and done, Please forgive me if you can and hope that you will give a place in a corner of your life again.
Word Hues 