Tag: love

Happy

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What positive emotion do you feel most often?

Saying that happiness is the most often emotion or more like positive emotion that I have may seem like a lie.

As a person who is living with depression, most days, I wake up weak and tired and just frustrated with life. However, when I see my mother gaze fondly at her grandchildren in that moment, I am happy. She had to leave my sister and me back in our hometown with our grandparents when we were babies because she couldn’t afford to take us along with her. She missed our childhood, but I’m glad that she gets to see the childhood of her grandchildren at least.

When I see the joy in my sisters eye, every time she shares with us, her achievement, her individual achievement, it makes me happy. She has gone through a lot to finally find something of a room and that she found it. It makes me feel like she can start to be happy for herself.

When I see my father bring back a fruit or a vegetable from his home garden and I see the pride with which she brings it. It makes me happy. He loves agriculture, and when he was healthier and younger, I think she dreamt of going back home and having a land filled with beautiful trees and plants. He gave it up because he had to provide for his family. It may not be a lot, but the small area in which he has planted the few household vegetables and fruits is cherished as a testament to his passion.

I think no matter how sad I am as long as my family is happy. That is a good memory for me. That is happiness for me. I wish I could be the reason for that happiness. Just like they are for me.

So to conclude, I stop focusing on myself, the emotion that I feel the most is happy.

Me

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What do you think gets better with age?

A little too cliche? I could say something like wine or cheese or any other thing. However, I’ve come to realise that the best version of me is always the tomorrow version of me.

Throughout my life, I’ve always had someone trying to advise me or teach me what is right and wrong. They do it to protect me to not make the same mistakes they did, but I have come to realise that my mistakes are the ones that teach me the best.

I have fallen into the most worst situations after not listening to the advice of my elders and notice that I end up, making the same mistakes over and over again. Till I finally draw the line myself,

I have learnt to work hard, even when everything feels like it’s crashing down on me. I have learnt not to hurt others just because I am hurting, I learnt that some days are filled with hopelessness, but you still keep fighting for that one day or one moment of happiness.

I think time has taught me to accept and move on. It has taught me that today is wrong, may just be tomorrow’s right.

I am grateful for what the years have taught me, and I am grateful for the years I may have left. I hope that everyone hold on and get to see the better version of themselves like I have.

Pride but not Honor

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As a woman, I was always taught that we must sacrifice things for my family’s sake. To maintain the peace in the family.

It took me some time to figure out the difference between the two. I realized that pride is to feel superior to the others. And in most cases pride destroys everything. You tend to loose yourself in the battle to assert yourself as being better. The moment you let go of that pride you learn to accept things and people. Letting go of the pride needs to come from within it does not come from another’s advice. It happens when you realize that there is something more valuable that you will gain and letting go of your pride feels like freedom.

On the other hand, I also realized that not everything considered pride tends to be pride. Protecting your honor is not wrong. Honoring yourself is the truest form of self-love and though it is quite difficult to do, one must always try. Giving up your honor today, may not rock the boat today, but for the rest of your life you would have no harmony within yourself.

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Choose what you need to let go to find peace. Take your time and make the right choices.

Daily writing prompt
What could you let go of, for the sake of harmony?
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Gifts out of Love

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In one of the earlier prompts I have mentioned that the best gift that one could give me was their time. But moving on to a much tangible level, I think the best gifts I have received were those that were given out of love.

My sister has got me so many things over the years. She never said yours and mine. I got to get everything she owned. But I think the best thing she has given me was helping me understand the plot of Nancy Drew, Secret Seven, Sherlock Holmes, Harry Potter and so many other books. Basically, she introduced me to the world of magic in books. My sister is my sounding board, I can ask her all the weird questions my mind can come up with but she will find me an answer. When I was smaller and couldn’t read all that well she used to read the books and then explain the story in vivid details that I could just picture the whole story in my mind.

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One of my closest friend got me a coral jewelry set. At that age I was really fascinated by fashion jewelry and though we were not allowed to wear any to school. She remembered. From the many conversation that we have over our lunch boxes. She took the time to pick out something I would like and gift it to me. That was the first time that someone had gifted me something on my birthday. But she gave me something even more precious, a greeting card that she made on her own with the pictures of our group of friends. It’s been a decade since she gave it to me but I still have it with me, taking it along every time I move houses. And the end of the day she gave me her time.

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Another friend of mine, who is more closer to family than friend did something very unexpected. She dragged me to the shop to but me a pair of good shoes. And mind you they were not good shoes per “my standards”, it had to be good shoes according to her standards. She said she wanted me to get those shoes cause she saw me in pain. She said it is one less pain that I had to bear.

So to summarize, anything tangible or intangible, given out of love, is the best gifts I have received.

Daily writing prompt
Share one of the best gifts you’ve ever received.
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It was on Me…

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Each time we fought you got hurt but the scars were left on my heart,
Each time we shared secrets you were relieved but I was always burdened.
Each time we consoled each other you recovered but I sank further in,
Each time I tried never to be the same I always failed and never did really change,
Each time you shed tears some fell from mine but I never let you notice,
Each time I fell I tried to get up on my own as I did not wan to be an obstacle in your way,

In your happiness I was happy but when I was sad no one cared,
I thought of you as my driving force for living,
As days went by I was no more part of your life,
When the words you spoke made me sad I hid the tears that fell from my eyes for which I always regret,
I once was an open book but as time passed I closed up myself,
I never told you what you said hurt me but hoped you would realize but never did,
I waited and waited for you to notice but you showed no signs of it,

So I accept it was my mistake,
I hurt you, I made you cry but I hoped you would always remain mine,
But now I know your happiness is not with me,
I just want to say I am sorry,
I can’t say anything else because you were and are my everything,
I am sorry for everything I have have said and done,
Please forgive me if you can and hope that you will give a place in a corner of your life again.

Together everything is better

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With working parents we didn’t always have the whole family together. But the one thing that we always did together was putting up the Christmas tree. We stayed up on December 1st every year and decorated the whole house for Christmas. Both my parents no matter how tired we they were from their long hours of work they stayed up with us.

Every year we tried changing up the way we decorated and came up with new ideas on how to do it. We have made a nativity set out of clay, decorations for the tree using eggshells of the Christmas Cake, stars out of thermocol… and so many other things. It was not always aesthetically pleasing but my parents appreciated with so much love.

True, we may not have had a lot of time with the whole family around but we did not miss out on anything. And I guess though not a family tradition when all of us were together we had happy times and that was what mattered.

Bloganuary writing prompt
Write about a few of your favorite family traditions.
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