Tag: mental-health

One that I can Drive

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Daily writing prompt
What is your all time favorite automobile?
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For many people, cars are a passion. They know about the engine, latest features, and know exactly why a car would be good for them. For me though, a car is simply a mode of transport. I do not have a personal preference as far as the car is concerned, but the places it can take me is something that I would focus on.

I don’t need a flashy car, what matters most is good mileage. If it gets me from point A to point B without breaking down or giving me any grief I am good.

I prefer cars where I can see clearly over the dashboard and reach the pedals easily. While I used to enjoy the control of a manual stick, the traffic en route to work have made me lean toward the convenience of an automatic instead.

For me, the real thrill isn’t in the car itself but in the journeys in it. If there’s one feature that adds extra joy, it’s a good stereo system.

At the end of the day, I would want a car to use rather than a car to own.

Day 1: Making each day Count

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There are moments in life when the weight of reality feels heavier than ever. For a long time, I didn’t think much about how long I had in this world. It didn’t matter to me. But now, just as I began to hope for a long and fulfilled life, things have taken a different turn—and it hurts.

I find myself battling with my own thoughts, ashamed that I let things get so bad. I know I’ve caused pain to my family, and the one thing I always wished was that they would never have to bury me. That thought alone feels like the worst punishment I could give them. And yet, facing the possibility of it, I realize I need to live better—not just survive. I want to take care of my health, to be stronger, and to leave behind good memories for the people I love most.

I don’t know if my family will ever read these words, but if you do, I want you to know something: I love you. Even if I don’t say it often, even if harsh words have been exchanged, my love for you has never changed. I have always felt your love, even in moments of loneliness. Despite the walls I built around myself, I knew you were there, waiting for me.

If I leave this world before you, I am deeply sorry for the pain I’ve caused. If I could start my life over again with you, I would. But I am not ungrateful—I’ve had a better life than many, and a longer one than most.

From here on, I want to take things one day at a time. To be better than I was yesterday—in my faith, in my family, and in my dreams.

Choice without Fear

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Daily writing prompt
What does freedom mean to you?
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To put “Freedom” simply it would be the opportunity to make your own choices without the fear of consequence.

Being free is to being in control. I mean on every second of your life. There shouldn’t be any other human that forces you into making a choice you do not want. I do not want to ever lower my eyes into submission. Every consequences of my life I face I want to to be completely because I decided it. I do not want to ever have that thought – “I should not have agreed to what they said.”

The choices can be anything. It can be how I dress, what I eat, when I choose to do something, how I choose to do it. This list goes on. I have seen a lot of documentaries where humans have experienced the treatment of being mere puppets. They were broken and shattered just for others fun. While I have never been subject to that kind of experience I think everyone experiences some degree of subjugation.

For example, I think most women even today have thoughts that limit them. When I want to wear a particular dress I should have the choice to wear it without having the thought of – “Will someone judge me?”. I should not be worried about how people perceive me. Neither should I be worried about – “Am I allowed to wear this?”.

Most people grow out of it and learn to stand up for themselves. The time that different people take to reach that level is different. I always encouraged and supported my friends to speak up for themselves. I am ashamed to admit it that when it came chance for me to speak up for myself… I failed. I had to take a lot of hits to my self esteem. It took every ounce of will power I had to break free. To this day, I struggle sometimes but I will never stop claiming my freedom.

Hope to all those with me, ahead of me and just starting in their journey to fight for their freedom. Its difficult but you will get there.

Everything

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Daily writing prompt
What is good about having a pet?
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In my opinion everything about having a pet is amazing!

There will be some that will disagree especially when you see your ripped clothes or have your furniture peed on.

But for me, all that is just small things. No matter what mood I am in, my puppy always knows how to make things better. I do not know how.

On days that I come home after a grueling day at work, he runs around me in circles. Then, he runs straight at me. He makes all the exhaustion from the day just vanish. I end up playing with him and feeling energized.

Sometimes when I sit and cry, he slowly crawls into my lap and licks away my tears. He puts his head on my shoulder and keeps it there till I stop crying.

When I watch him running in his sleep or watch him trying to catch a mosquito it instantly brings a smile to my face.

To those who feel alone in this world even with everyone around do try to adopt a pet. They don’t use words. They do not understand what you are going through but they try their best to fill your void.

Happiness

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Not to be to philosophical, but I feel we misunderstand what is “true” happiness.

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For instance, I love stationery and discovering (and owning)new stationery. I feel happy with I look at my stationery collections and I use it as sort of therapy when I am not having a good day. Just going through them and reorganizing them helps me calm the waves in my mind.

I also love watching K-Dramas with their mostly happy fairytale like ending and of course actual fairytales too. They make me happy too, and some of the comic scenes in them are truly iconic. When I want to disconnect from reality I always turn to my Watch list on Netflix for that much needed break.

Spending time with my family makes me happy too. Just seeing them happy makes all the troubles of life worth it. On the other hand, being an introvert, spending time alone makes me happy too. I love delving into my world of imagination, I am essentially doing noting, but I am still happy.

If you ask me which of these is true happiness I would claim all of it are. It just depends on the time and the reason why you are down to truly understand what you need to be happy again.

Daily writing prompt
What’s something most people don’t understand?
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Cry & Scream

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I was taught “big girls don’t cry” when I turned 8. Fast forward through the years, every time I cried I was scolded.

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When I was younger, I was told that I had “crocodile tears” that were not sincere and so slowly I taught myself not to cry. I thought by not crying I was showing maturity. Little did I know that I was slowly piling up the all the hurt in my heart.

It took me some time to figure it out but crying is a reset button set by God for us to just cope with the negativity around us.

When I am tired of keeping that strong willed face for the world, I come back to my room and just cry and scream. That time I spend crying helps me acknowledge the pain I am feeling and helps me forgive myself for failing. It calms the rising tides of emotions in my heart well enough to give me the strength to pick up my broken pieces and face the world once again.

It does not matter who you are, what you have been told, or your circumstances — take a minute to cry, not to show the world, but for yourself. In my opinion, it’s the best recourse to take when you feel things are falling apart. Off load the pain a little bit to get the courage to carry on.

Daily writing prompt
What strategies do you use to cope with negative feelings?
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