Letting Go!

I am not a person who can easily forget things. Worse than that, I keep reliving the mostly horrible moments of my life over and over again.

I always thought that I am not good at moving on from things when it comes to others. Carrying the weight of all that pain and hurt was just beyond anything I have ever known. I had to break down completely after which I realized that letting go was the only option I had to move on.

And my word! The first time I just let myself be was just life altering! I still have a problem with letting go. But I have learnt to let go of little things. There are always going to be something that I cannot control and that is okay!

Besides having absolute control over your destiny is overrated! 🙂

Daily writing prompt
Describe one positive change you have made in your life.

Exercise of the Mind

Given that I am generally a very lazy person, I do not do much of physical exercise.

The one thing I love doing is exercising my mind! I love learning new things! Learning something new always makes me happy and excited. Now, let’s be completely honest, the excitement is there in the initial days and usually tappers down after that, but nonetheless, I prefer it to exercising!

Whenever I do exercise, I prefer to dance. And no, I am not a good dancer. I wish I were but I am not. I did go for dance classes for 6 years but all I can do is be a background dancer. I have no sort of aura a dancer should have. On the other hand, using it as a means to add some sort of activity in my life seems like a good option.

Daily writing prompt
What’s the most fun way to exercise?

Harry Potter

I think the Harry Potter books was an unexpected series. It opened people to a world of magic! I mean the concept of a school of magic, a parallel world existing where magic exists, I especially love how they intertwined the “normie” world with the magical world. It is truly amazing!

As a child, the world of imagination just got a whole lot bigger. And I am aware there were more amazing magical books that were published over the years. But the Harry Potter series will always hold a special place in my heart and yes, whenever I get a chance, I dive right back into the magical world of Hogwarts.

Daily writing prompt
What book could you read over and over again?

Merlin

Okay let’s be real! I did not read the book I instead watched the TV series.

I totally loved the way the actor has portrayed the character of Merlin. I loved the love hate relationship between him and the character King Arthur. But more importantly, I love Merlin’s journey to discover his Magic.

Merlin is stated to be the greatest magician of all time. Just imagine! To be so powerful! To be able to make everything in the world better. Hmm.. come to think of it I would not like being the one with the ultimate power. I mean, it is said that power corrupts and I think I would easily go to the dark side.

If I could be Merlin without falling prey to the dark side of the magic that would be the character I want to be.

Daily writing prompt
If you could be a character from a book or film, who would you be? Why?

It doesn’t matter

What advice would you give to your teenage self?

How complicated life seems during teenage years. It is the time when we start to understand the importance of society’s acceptance.

We leave the phase of enjoying every day with a carefree attitude to the “What will people think” attitude.

We fight every day with ourselves to be the perfect version we can be—just so we could be liked. We wanted people to be jealous of the perfection in our lives.

I did things that I hated just because they were what most people did. I tried so hard to fall into the required specifications to be part of the “cool” gang. And when I could not make it, I denigrated myself: “You are not trying hard enough.” “You are a loser.” “You don’t deserve to exist.” These thoughts occupied a permanent space in my head.

But now, in retrospect, it all feels so small. All the issues I faced—if I had the maturity I have today—I think I would have gotten through them unscathed.

The one thing I want to tell my old self is: “It doesn’t matter.” The people you think matter leave your life, the standards you had to meet change, and the measure of success is different. All I had to do was get through it forging my own path, because no matter what, to others you are doing everything wrong.

Just brush them off your shoulder, hold your head high, and keep on walking.

Heart ache

When you are a kid the worst thing that can happen would be breaking up with your best friends. We get so attached to people who were strangers. That on one day when they just say things that are so mean we wither a little.

I was a very emotional person, the first time I fought with my “best” friend I fell apart. This short note was written amidst flowing tears and a hand wrapped around my mouth to stifle the noise of crying. When I think of it today I wonder to myself – How could I have been that naive? Anyways, I got over that and many more worst situations. Glad that I made it.

WHEN ONE’S HEART ACHES

When one’s heart aches what can they think,
what can they tell, what can they shed nothing at all…
When a person heart breaks it shattered into a million pieces,
just one hit, yet no sound is heard..
When one’s heart is stabbed a million times the wound deepens but is noticed by none.
It happens in just a second but nobody knows.
When a person loses all hope,
When living has no meaning,
When dying makes no sense,
When emotions die out,
When positivism is replaced by negativism,
When love has gone away.
When loneliness grabs you,
When silence surrounds you,
When happiness is replaced by grief,
When you think it will never be your day,
When memories taunt you,
When ambitions scare you,
When dreams tear you,
When one’s heart aches..

A time when you only think about this world.
A time when the Lord stands so near,
Waiting for you to turn to Him.
When the love of God captures you,
When you know you can live on,
When you realize the life isn’t bad.
When you know that, He is there to help you at a turning or crossroad.
When the lost smile returns in a while,
When He lifts you from the pit of misery,
When He gives His happiness to you as a gift.
When a one’s heart aches, He must run to God and not to human fraud.
Dear Lord, lead me, mould me and teach me Your ways.
Help me forget all of my sadness,
With You I get forever gladness,
May I be forever happy with You even if my heart aches..