Tag: bloganuary

Breaking Free

Published on by wordhuesLeave a comment
Daily writing prompt
What positive events have taken place in your life over the past year?
View all responses

You read about it. People in toxic relationships. I read about it too. People so lost.. so alone. All the while having thoughts in your head – “It’s your fault” , “Be Better”, “You have done something wrong”, “You should have tried harder”.

While the toxic relationship is hard enough to bear the torture cage that the mind makes is even worse.

I broke free. I thought I did. Never knew that my mind would be the one that keeps me locked in. It took me a year. A year of self hate. A year of blaming myself. A year of locking myself away. A year of hiding from my family. A year of not letting myself be happy.

This year, I finally stopped punishing myself. I gave it my best. Somethings are just not worth holding on to. Not everything that happens in life is for good. Sometimes you need to break away to start living again. And I finally did.

This is year I finally broke free!

Day 6: Back on my Feet

Published on by wordhuesLeave a comment

After days of excruciating pain I am back on my feet.

I want to get better so bad. I hate being sick. I hate the pain. I hate limping and having to sit every 5 minutes. I feel like a burden.

I know the disease will be something that I need to live with for the rest of my life. But, I want to have some semblance of normalcy. I want to be able to walk without support. I want to be able to climb up stairs. I want to not see the pain and concerns in my family’s eyes as I struggle to make it across the room.

I know I have a lot of damage and that it is going to be a slow recovery process. Just that some days the pain feels a little more worse. It just feels like there is no end to the pain. I do not want to fall into a gloom thought process. But somedays keeping the hope is a little bit difficult.

Today was that difficult day but somehow I got through. I got through it because I was with my family. My sister came over with the kids and we spent the whole afternoon putting up the Christmas decorations. The loud screaming and lame jokes kept my mind in it’s happy space.

Today was a difficult day but somehow it ended with me having a good memory to hold on to.

Day 5: Feeling Bored

Published on by wordhuesLeave a comment

It’s just been the fifth day of me, trying to maintain a consistent habit of writing a blog. I am already feeling like just giving up.

More than writing a blog consistently, I wanted to keep this blog as a way to keep myself accountable to the changes that I want to make in my life. I keep stalling on things such as waking up early and trying to exercise or even meditate for that matter.

The worst part of it all is that I still have not started reading my bible every day. I really want to be closer to God before I close my eyes not for the fear of hell or death. I just feel guilty that He was the one person that showed me consistent love, and I haven’t even begun to start loving him back.

Starting tomorrow I am going to make that conscious effort to read the bible and prayer before I start my day. Hopefully one day it becomes a necessity rather than a forced habit.

Nature’s Wild Side

Published on by wordhues1 Comment
Daily writing prompt
Do you ever see wild animals?
View all responses

In everyday life, spotting a wild creature isn’t common. However, there have been moments when I’ve crossed paths with them unexpectedly.

On rare occasions, I’ve seen small foxes or coyotes. Truthfully, I can’t always tell them apart. When I see one, my instinct is to close my eyes and run the other way. It’s not rational, but fear doesn’t always listen to reason. Snakes are another story. I’ve come across a few, and the experience was terrifying. They are just creepy.

I remind myself that every creature was created by God. Animals usually don’t harm humans unless they feel endangered. Yet I think – what if I’m not a danger, but instead, dinner? That possibility keeps my fear alive.

Despite these fears, I love going on safari trips. There’s something blissful about watching animals from a safe distance, seeing them in their natural habitat. You can’t help but wonder what intricate details God has put into making this world.

Day 4: Loosing the Momentum

Published on by wordhuesLeave a comment

Writing has always been my de-stressing solution. I think it gave me some stability to the emotional turmoil in my mind.

I set a time clock for myself. I knew that writing was the first thing that would bring me back. It would give me even a semblance of what I used to be.

I don’t want to be as oblivious as I used to be. However, I do want to be the person who used to find a reason to smile everyday. Not a fake smile or a forced one but rather on that comes out of genuine joy. I want to look at the positive side of things.

Today was a little bit difficult, my mind was pushing against me. It was like – “Is there even a point?” , “No one cares”. But I made it through, I charged my laptop and logged on my day.

This may not be an inciteful blog post but it is me pushing myself to be better.

Can’t Choose One

Published on by wordhues2 Comments
Daily writing prompt
Do you have a favorite place you have visited? Where is it?
View all responses

I do not travel much. My inherent fear of getting lost always holds me back.

When I do choose to travel, it is always to places I have wanted to visit for a long time. I love every place that I have visited. I usually prefer visited calm places that is not very crowded.

The latest places I visited was the Descanso Gardens. Instead of going in the evening when people come to see the light show, I went in the morning. I took a break from the work week and I went to calm my mind. What I thought would be a quick visit I ended up walking around for 4 hours. I never even realized.

The nature that surrounded me was just amazing. No worry about people or the worries that were plaguing my mind. There were so many people out there just for walks and most of them greeted me with a smile.

I would definitely suggest it to people who love to walk. It’s perfect for those wanting just a break from the daily hustle of life.

Food Memory

Published on by wordhuesLeave a comment
Daily writing prompt
What are your feelings about eating meat?
View all responses

I personally prefer non-vegetarian food over vegetarian food. I think its cause at home, there was always some non vegetarian food made.

I have seen enough videos online to know that this is a polarizing issue. I have no intention to add fuel to that fire.

But taking a step back truthfully I am grateful for any meal that is on my table. I am believe to each his own. Everyone is different and grew up in different circumstances. As long as you don’t take for advantage the privilege of choice – “to eat what you prefer” it does not matter what you eat. Further, someone being different from you does not give you the right to impose your opinion on them.

Taking another step back, Vegetarian or Non Vegetarian it does not matter. The only thing that can evoke feelings about food is an associated memory. I don’t remember every dish I eat, neither do I remember the most costly food I have eaten.

I mostly remember the food I ate sneakily in the back of the classroom. It’s the food that my sister made for the first time. There is also the burnt food we salvaged after mom forgot the stove was on during family conversations. These are the foods I love. These are the food that evokes feelings in me.

Day 2: Waking Up to Possibilities

Published on by wordhuesLeave a comment

Today was a good day. I woke up at the first alarm rather than snoozing it to kingdom come. Let me tell you, that was no easy feat given the freezing temperatures and the warm cocoon of my blankets. Still, I made myself get up and let my feet touch the cold floor.

After months of putting it off, I finally ran a cycle of laundry and set the clothes out to dry. It wasn’t easy, but I paced myself, took breaks, and got through it.

Later, I gave myself something even more important: time to speak with a friend. I needed to let out what was in my heart. I wanted to talk openly about my fears and worries without burdening my family. Breaking down in front of them feels difficult—I’ve always been the stoic one, the person with logical reason when things go wrong. But today, speaking to my friend gave me the space to acknowledge my fears and reaffirm my hope for a good life.

All in all, not a bad start!

Earrings and Bracelets

Published on by wordhues1 Comment
Daily writing prompt
What are your two favorite things to wear?
View all responses

Accessorizing has always been my favorite way to express myself. Out of everything I wear, earrings and bracelets hold a special place in my heart.

I adore fancy earrings because they bring life to my otherwise understated wardrobe. Most of the time, I prefer plain-colored clothes—no patterns, no bold contrasts. But that simplicity gives me the perfect canvas to highlight statement earrings. They instantly elevate my look, adding a touch of personality and flair.

Bracelets are another accessory I can’t get enough of, especially those in the Pandora style. There’s something about the weight on my wrist and the delicate charms that makes them feel both elegant and personal. I love how each charm tells a little story, and together they create a piece that feels uniquely mine.

One thing I’ve always wanted to master is layering bracelets. I always feel wearing more than one is going over board. But hopefully soon, I can learn how to do it well.

For me, accessorizing isn’t just about fashion—it’s about adding joy, confidence, and a little sparkle to everyday life.

Day 1: Making each day Count

Published on by wordhuesLeave a comment

There are moments in life when the weight of reality feels heavier than ever. For a long time, I didn’t think much about how long I had in this world. It didn’t matter to me. But now, just as I began to hope for a long and fulfilled life, things have taken a different turn—and it hurts.

I find myself battling with my own thoughts, ashamed that I let things get so bad. I know I’ve caused pain to my family, and the one thing I always wished was that they would never have to bury me. That thought alone feels like the worst punishment I could give them. And yet, facing the possibility of it, I realize I need to live better—not just survive. I want to take care of my health, to be stronger, and to leave behind good memories for the people I love most.

I don’t know if my family will ever read these words, but if you do, I want you to know something: I love you. Even if I don’t say it often, even if harsh words have been exchanged, my love for you has never changed. I have always felt your love, even in moments of loneliness. Despite the walls I built around myself, I knew you were there, waiting for me.

If I leave this world before you, I am deeply sorry for the pain I’ve caused. If I could start my life over again with you, I would. But I am not ungrateful—I’ve had a better life than many, and a longer one than most.

From here on, I want to take things one day at a time. To be better than I was yesterday—in my faith, in my family, and in my dreams.