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Montage of Tokyo city with Tokyo Tower and Mount Fuji, Santorini with white buildings and blue domes, and Paris with Eiffel Tower and Seine river at dusk

Scenic Wonders in my Dreams

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Daily writing prompt
What are your top 10 travel destinations?
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I am not very keen on traveling. There are a few reasons for this. The first is that I am geographically illiterate. I do not know much about places, and I do not understand directions. I once took an hour to reach a destination only eight minutes away. Not exaggerating — it is a true story. The even more embarrassing part is that I had maps open on my phone the entire time. You would think I would make one wrong turn, realize my mistake, and correct it. But no, I kept ending up at the same starting point after taking multiple wrong turns.

The next thing that deters me is that I am not a calm traveler. My mind keeps inventing scenarios of losing important things, or even losing myself in a place where I do not know anybody. That slowly develops into an abnormal fear.

But setting aside these irrational fears, I do have a list of places I would love to travel. Ironically, most of them are places where you need to walk a lot.

Japan has quickly risen to the top. The stationery industry there is revolutionary, and as a stationery enthusiast it feels like a dream. I have also become a big fan of the anime Demon Slayer. Many gardens in Japan have been drawn into the manga, and they look serene and beautiful. The Wisteria gardens and cherry blossoms especially call to me. I want to see them with my own eyes — the breeze, the sunlight streaming through the trees. It feels magical.

Santorini attracted me mostly because of the images I see online. Unlike Japan, I do not know much about this place, so I would want to research more before deciding what to visit. The architecture in the pictures is what drew me in. I imagine taking photographs and later sketching them into my art book.

Paris may be cliché, but it belongs on the list. The architecture, the food, the ambience — all of it is enough to attract me. Disney World adds its own magic, and I would love to visit all the Disney attractions around the world. Tokyo Disney is also on my list. Beyond that, Paris seems to have beautiful museums where you can sit alone and admire art in silence. That is something I would treasure.

So for now, these three destinations are the ones I am sure of. My list may change, and I may never be a seasoned traveler, but these places live in my imagination. They remind me that travel is not only about movement — sometimes it is about longing, about the beauty we carry within us even if we never set foot there.

Yoga mat beside open journal and bowl of fruit on wooden floor near window

Day 221: Trying to

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have heard over and over again that to develop good behavior you don’t need to be perfect — you just need to be consistent. But that’s where I struggle. I always want things to be good because I don’t want people to find fault in what I do. I think I probably want their appreciation, but the main thing I worry about is someone saying that it’s bad. I don’t particularly want everyone to like what I do, but I really don’t want anyone to hate it. Is that a shallow thought? I end up spending way too much time trying to perfect the things I do, and at some point I feel it’s taking too much time. Then I decide it isn’t worth it, and my hope of starting a good habit fades away. With the pressure of work and studies, good habits fall out of the list of things that get done in the day.

I wanted to make exercise a daily thing just to keep myself healthy. I tried for three months, but the body aches kept getting worse and worse until I gave up. The thought of pain made me want to take a break. I kept thinking I would get back to it, but the truth is I never actually did.

I wanted to stop eating outside food and start cooking at home. I wanted to learn different recipes. I don’t have a refined palate — if it were up to me, I could probably live on instant food for the rest of my life. But I knew it wasn’t healthy, and I wanted to eat better. I managed to cook for two days in a week, and then I was done. By day two I felt exhausted and didn’t have the energy to try again.

Another thing I lose is my hobbies and passion projects. I wanted to start writing again. I’ve always wanted to write my own novel. When I was 13, I wrote the first chapter after months of creating characters and a plot line. It took me four months because I kept re‑editing it. But as schoolwork increased, I dropped the weekly writing practice.

I also wanted to continue improving my art skills. I started drawing whenever I found time — between school notes and random pieces of paper. Over time, I collected a lot of sketches stuffed into a file. I wanted to learn portrait painting, but I never put in the time to improve.

When it comes to sleep versus good habits, sleep wins. And when work and study come into the picture, hobbies fall off my mind. I am trying to stay consistent. I am trying to make a better version of myself. This year I thought I would start doing things every day, but it’s like I start and then stop, start again, go on for some days, and then stop again. Consistency is my Everest, and I am hoping that maybe this time around, I can conquer it.

Person standing on rocky cliff edge facing sunset over ocean

Day 218: Falling, Failing and Finding a way to hold on

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It has been more than 200 days since my diagnosis was confirmed, and the weight of it still lingers. I often feel like I’m falling—slipping into fear whenever I think about being alone. The thought of pain flaring up and causing me to stumble or collapse is always at the back of my mind. Independence, something I once took for granted, now feels fragile.

There are days when I feel like I’m failing. I want to reassure my family that I can manage on my own, that I am capable of caring for myself. Yet doubts creep in, whispering that I’m not strong enough. I don’t ask for extraordinary achievements; I only want to do the ordinary things—tasks that make up a normal life—without fear or dependence. But impatience grows as each month passes, reminding me that I’m not yet back to my old self. The mantra “You are better than before” has started to lose its power, and negativity presses harder against the walls I try to build.

And yet, I keep searching for a way to hold on. I remind myself that healing is slow, that years of damage cannot be undone in months. I look at people who seem to carry positivity like a shield and wonder how they manage it all day long. Their willpower feels extraordinary. If I could capture even a fraction of that strength, I believe I could reshape my life.

Holding on doesn’t mean ignoring the fear or denying the setbacks. It means acknowledging the falls, accepting the failures, and still choosing to keep moving forward. That, I think, is where resilience begins.

Do I have to choose one?

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Daily writing prompt
Who is your favorite blogger to follow?
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I’ve never been one for favorites, but I do love to read—especially anything that provokes me to think differently. While I enjoy conversations with like‑minded people, I’m fascinated by those who hold views opposite to mine. I’ll admit I haven’t always been the most open‑minded person, but I’m learning. Listening to perspectives that challenge me forces my mind into places it wouldn’t normally go.

When I stumble upon a blog that resonates with my own experiences, I can’t help but keep reading. It makes me feel less alone, reminding me that my circumstances aren’t isolated. Others may not face things in the same sequence as I do, but their struggles echo mine. Sometimes the words of a stranger strike so deeply that it feels as though I know them. Without meeting or learning their life story, their writing creates a closeness that’s hard to explain.

On the other hand, bloggers whose views contradict mine often spark the most growth. They push me to consider perspectives I might otherwise dismiss. I believe that having a closed mind is one of the greatest failures. People who can hold strong opinions yet still make space for others are the ones I admire most. For me, it has taken effort to stop building walls when something doesn’t make sense and instead listen with the intent to understand.

This shift hasn’t been instant—it takes time to truly grasp another person’s point of view. But I’ve realized it would be hypocritical to expect others to listen to me if I don’t extend the same courtesy. Slowly, I’ve grown better at it. I now take time after conversations to reflect on where someone is coming from, and strangely enough, it has expanded the way I think. I’ve learned to understand circumstances without rushing to judgment, and even to form friendships with people whose thoughts run opposite to mine.

In the end, I wouldn’t say I have a single favorite blogger. Instead, anyone whose words move my heart and inspire my mind earns my attention.

Managing the Crash

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Daily writing prompt
What strategies do you use to cope with negative feelings?
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Attempting this prompt again, because this time the answer feels a little different. Especially since I’ve just returned to some level of normalcy after feeling like I was drowning for the past two days. Having bad days isn’t uncommon anymore; it almost feels like they’ve become the norm. The world is on fire, and no matter how hard you try, some days simply don’t go your way.

Talking about my strategy to cope with negative feelings, fair disclaimer: this is not a good practice. What I do is probably one of the more toxic ways of dealing with things. But here it is. First, I hide what I’m feeling. I never let the next person know what’s going through my mind. My problems are my own. It’s rare that anyone would truly understand, and even rarer that they’d know exactly what’s happening inside. Second, I build compartments and shove the feelings into a box. There’s no time to deal with emotions. Feelings complicate things and make everything confusing. Wearing your heart on your sleeve feels like the biggest disservice you can do to yourself. So I tell myself: deal with the feelings later. It most certainly isn’t in the moment. Finally, I focus on getting through today, pushing the problems out for tomorrow.

Now, here’s why this isn’t effective. Every once in a while, the feelings I’ve boxed up start to crack through. I try damage control, thinking maybe handling a small issue will make the compartments strong again, strong enough to withstand a few more days. But the pile of negative emotions always grows faster than my ability to manage them. Then comes the crash. The day when everything tumbles down, when it feels like the world is ending and life has lost all meaning. I shut down for a couple of days, overwhelmed by the tide of emotions. Nothing makes sense until I finally gather the strength to rebuild the walls, compartmentalize again, and start over.

I still follow this vicious cycle, but once in a while I take time to talk to someone. It doesn’t stop the crash, but it helps me recover from it. It gives me courage to fight again and somehow gives me the strength to take a step in the right direction.

Day 85: Food, Family and Smiles

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Sometimes, it isn’t about what we achieve in a day but how we spend our time. Today reminded me of that truth in the most delightful way.

The morning began in the kitchen, where my nephews brought with them a whirlwind of chaos, fun, and pure madness. There’s something magical about children—their innocence has a way of making the world’s troubles fade into the background.

Breakfast was french toast and sausages. I stacked the toast high, convinced there would be leftovers. But for kids who spend their days running, playing, and laughing, that pile was nothing more than fuel for their endless energy.

By lunchtime, the excitement moved outdoors. We fired up the grill for a barbecue, and the kids threw themselves into the experience—darting between the kitchen and the grill, proudly carrying marinated chicken one way and sizzling food the other. Their joy was infectious, especially when they hovered around their grandfather, soaking up his presence.

I’ll admit, there were moments when pain crept in while I cooked. Yet, as the day unfolded, the discomfort faded into the background. What remained was laughter, chatter, and the warmth of family.

Later, I sat outside with my mom. We talked about nothing in particular—random things, everyday musings. And yet, it was everything. No looming problems, no heavy thoughts. Just the comfort of conversation and the peace of being together.

As the day closes, I find myself smiling. Not because of any grand achievement, but because of the simple joy of shared meals, laughter, and love.

Yes, today was a good day.

Day 83:Disconecting from Autopilot

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How do people find something to write about their everyday? I find my life totally uninteresting. I am what people call boring.

Is this what adulthood looks like? A day that start with work and ends with sleep? I am embarrassed about it. I never thought much of it. I have spent months together doing nothing more than just logging on to work and closing my laptop and going to sleep. I never gave it a second thought.

I was missing out on life. I do not get to spend time with my family or my friends. I do not spend time doing things i love – like creating art. Ironically, art became a stress reliever for me rather than something that I spent time with “just because”.

Do others also feel like this? Like their life is losing its purpose. Just going through the motions day after day without any thought to the “why”.

The truth is, everyone needs something to look forward to. A reason to wake up with anticipation instead of resignation. With all the ups and downs in my life I stopped hoping. I was mechanical. . I had no bigger goals or dreams behind it.

Time to reset that part of me. I am going to try making small goals. It is what is suggested you see. Given that I have a history of not staying on course it makes sense. The small wins will encourage me to make larger ones. Hopefully.

Day 64: Getting back on Track

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I am back! Finally after days of wanting to get back to writing my blog. I have finally done it! Even today as I sat to write my blog today I kept thinking “one day won’t matter right?” But, given my procrastination behavior I finally have forced myself to get started.

I have missed this! I think things are finally turning around. My health is getting better. My pain is at a manageable threshold. I have finally finished organizing all my stationary. No more stationary strewn on the floor. I table top is not piled up. I actually even started de-cluttering other areas in my house. I have started letting go of things that at point was unimaginable for me. I took a proper emotional hit for me to set my priorities straight.

I am not doing everything that I am supposed to. I feel like I have finally started to at least see the things that I have been missing. I don’t every want to feel that out of control again. I never wants to loose perspective of what matters again. I want to be happy. And life may not always give me reasons to be happy about. I am going to keep trying. I am going to snatch any happiness life can give me. Even if I don’t deserve it I still appreciate it!

Day 49: Cold – 1, Productivity – 0

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Have you ever had those days when you feel busy the entire day, yet at the end you realize nothing has really been accomplished? Today was one of those days for me. I woke up with a blocked nose and constant sneezing. The cold has really taken hold and seems to be in the “getting worse” phase. I absolutely hate catching a cold.

Putting the cold aside, I didn’t get much done today—not even the bare minimum. I had planned to start studying this weekend, but even on good days I get distracted easily. Add to that the headache from the cold, and I just didn’t feel like doing it. I wanted at least one small achievement for the day, so I renewed my car insurance, and that was all I managed.

The rest of the day I spent talking with my family and watching Netflix. I really hope the worst of the cold is behind me and that tomorrow I’ll feel better.

Day 23: Being Busy

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I literally had nothing to do today. I woke up at 6 am but then stayed curled on by bed till 8 am. When I finally rose from my bed I realized I have nothing to do. No Monday morning weekly planning. No calls. No meetings. No pings from work. It was weird.

I thought to myself since I have sometime I would best try organizing my stationery. My biggest challenge is my washi tape collection. Its stored in boxes that are not clear. The fact that I cannot see them and have to rummage through the box to find one that I want always deterred me. At the end, I have a boxes that gather up dust.

So today, I started reorganizing my collections. By color, by width, by pattern. I have got through about half of it today. Tomorrow the real work starts. Hopefully I can get it done by tomorrow and then have a relaxing Christmas Eve.

Excited for tomorrow. I hope that I finally start using my washi for the art spreads and not have them forgotten in the back of my storage.