Tag: blogs

Day 84:Disconecting from Autopilot

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How do people find something to write about their everyday? I find my life totally uninteresting. I am what people call boring.

Is this what adulthood looks like? A day that start with work and ends with sleep? I am embarrassed about it. I never thought much of it. I have spent months together doing nothing more than just logging on to work and closing my laptop and going to sleep. I never gave it a second thought.

I was missing out on life. I do not get to spend time with my family or my friends. I do not spend time doing things i love – like creating art. Ironically, art became a stress reliever for me rather than something that I spent time with “just because”.

Do others also feel like this? Like their life is losing its purpose. Just going through the motions day after day without any thought to the “why”.

The truth is, everyone needs something to look forward to. A reason to wake up with anticipation instead of resignation. With all the ups and downs in my life I stopped hoping. I was mechanical. . I had no bigger goals or dreams behind it.

Time to reset that part of me. I am going to try making small goals. It is what is suggested you see. Given that I have a history of not staying on course it makes sense. The small wins will encourage me to make larger ones. Hopefully.

Day 35 to Day 47 – Breaking Free and Moving Forward

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New Year always brings with it resolutions. I am not the kind of person who can stick to a resolution. I always end up breaking it midway through the year. Just missing one day makes me think, “Oh no! The streak is broken. Ah well, next year then.” Over the years, I have given up on many such resolutions. So, this year I am not making any resolutions. I just want to do the things I have always wanted to do. I want to accomplish everything I have kept putting off for “when I get the time.” I want to live with no regrets.

I did stop updating my blog for some time. I think that was mostly on account of the stationery organization I mentioned before. It took me 12 days to get through all of it. Come to think of it, that is really slow, but I am glad I finally finished. Now, it’s time to get back to my blog, my art, and my bucket list.

The years I lost to my inner darkness are something I will never get back. However, going forward, I want to make the most of my life. I have let go of the toxic relationship, and I am choosing to move forward. I feel alive again. I no longer worry about expectations. I have realized that sometimes you need to take the road less travelled. It may be lonely, but it is not miserable.

By the grace of God, I have my family. They stand by me even when it is difficult for them. They don’t completely understand me, but they are still with me. I am blessed— not everyone has their family’s support, but I do. I want to live a better life, first for myself, but also for my family.

It is more challenging than it seems, but I believe I will make it. In fact, I have to make it. I will make it! I will do whatever it takes.

Day 22: Joy of Small Wins

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For the first time in a year I am finally sleeping in my room. I had to shift to my sister’s room. Her room has an attached bathroom. I could not walk across the hall every time I needed to use the washroom. I used to often cry because of it.

Today I slept in my own bed. Although there was a little pain, I still could make it across the hall without falling. It felt redeeming.

Other highlights of the day, I made lunch today. I once again took my time. It felt good. I also wanted to bake some bread but I was exhausted by the cooking. As such, I choose to stop for the day. Small successes are still a success, I remind myself and then everything feels like a blessing.

Other than that I did not do much else. The weather is so cold all I want to do is curl up under my blanket and sleep.

Day 21: Slow Down

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I have always loved drawing and being creative. I may not be the best at it but I still do love it.

Today I started a new art project, drawing Pokémon characters. I had remaining blank index cards from when I used to make flash cards for studying. I always wanted to use that for something but did not know what. I knew that I wanted to make it like a series but I did not know what.

I finished drawing of 10 out of the 1025 that are there on my Pokedex app. Lets see by the end of 2026 how many am I able to complete.

I always good after spending time on doing something creative. Today was by all means one of the best day that I had in a long time.

Everchanging View

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Daily writing prompt
How have your political views changed over time?
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Viewpoints always change. Atleast this holds true for me.

Politics was something I never paid much heed to. It was just too complicated. I believed in what I saw and heard and did not question anything.

But as I matured, those assumptions were challenged multiple times. I started noticing that nothing was ever as it seemed. The deeper I looked into issues, the more contradictions I discovered. Ideas I once thought were unquestionably right were quite different than what they seemed.

My opinions began to sway, sometimes leaning one way, then shifting to another. At first, I saw this as indecision. But over time, I realized that my understanding of the situations were getting better.

Changing viewpoints isn’t a weakness. It means you’re willing to try to understand the perplexing circumstances and admit when you need to change your perspective. My core principles like fairness and accountability have never changed but maybe the paths to it are open to debate.

In the end, I’ve learned that confidence doesn’t come from being stubborn. Rather, it comes from asking questions and understanding different aspects of the same situation.

Hard Pass

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Daily writing prompt
How much would you pay to go to the moon?
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Survival is one of humanity’s most basic instincts. Perhaps that’s why the idea of traveling to the Moon first came into our minds. It was an escape from a planet that we have damaged.

Yet, I don’t see myself going to the Moon. Earth, with all its environmental challenges, is still my home.

To me, going to the Moon feels less like survival and more like luxury. And luxury has always made me uneasy. Coming from a middle-class background, excess feels strange—almost wasteful.

If I had the means, I wouldn’t spend it chasing the stars. I’d rather use it to lighten someone else’s burden. Money can buy happiness for some people and I would want to do that. That, to me, feels just right. Add to that the benefit of skipping the stress of space travel and risking becoming a ball of fire in the sky.

In the end, the Moon may be fascinating, but Earth is irreplaceable. And perhaps the greatest adventure isn’t in leaving our planet—it’s in learning how to care for it, and for each other.

Day 16: Reboot

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It was a long time since I actually enjoyed my work. I used to put music on and then buckle down. I swiftly completed my assigned tasks for the day. However, somewhere along the past 2 years, I lost that part of me.

I got my Spotify wrapped today, and I had not listened to any music for the past 8 months. To me, it was all noise. I never realized what all was stolen from me. How did I let it get this bad? I was losing myself and I did not even realize it. Today, as I opened my favorite playlist and set it to play, it bought back good memories.

It was a good change. People say that one should not go back to old habits but this was a good old habit. I finished my work. For the first time in a long time, I felt satisfied as I closed my laptop.

I made it another day! 🙂

My Hero

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Daily writing prompt
Describe a man who has positively impacted your life.
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When I think of a man who has positively impacted my life I would think of my father. He gave me everything he could despite his struggles. He always wanted me to have better life than he did. He hid his pain to give me the best. My father will always be my first hero.

I have had friends who have taken care of me and protected me. They have stood by me when I felt alone. They sat with me when I was broken and when I was silent they have pulled me back to life.

When I first read the prompt, I could only think of the one who hurt me… who broke me. I just could not bring myself to write anything positive. It took me sometime to remember that I have had good men in my life. The actions of one person should not tarnish the good things the other have done for me.

I am thankful that I have met more good men than the bad ones. Men may not understand women easily. But some of them do take the time to just listen. And most of the time just listening is enough for a women to feel valued.

Day 11: Old Memories and New Perspectives

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I did not realize how much of me I had lost! Everyday its like my fogged memories are clearing. I am starting to smile more. I never knew that I had started giving up on pieces of me. I started making my world smaller. I think I hoped the smaller my world the lesser I would hurt. It is like I am claiming myself back. Little my little.

On a lighter note, I did listen to a couple of shorts audio stories. It was like a blast from the past. It had been years since I read a book or even heard an audio book. Also, lets be real, I had a spout of impulse purchase today. I need to stop it. I need to start using the stuff I buy. I am going to start by restricting myself to an amount for the month. Hopefully, over time i can reduce the budget until finally I buy stuff only when I actually need it.

All in all cheers to a good day!

Day 5: Feeling Bored

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It’s just been the fifth day of me, trying to maintain a consistent habit of writing a blog. I am already feeling like just giving up.

More than writing a blog consistently, I wanted to keep this blog as a way to keep myself accountable to the changes that I want to make in my life. I keep stalling on things such as waking up early and trying to exercise or even meditate for that matter.

The worst part of it all is that I still have not started reading my bible every day. I really want to be closer to God before I close my eyes not for the fear of hell or death. I just feel guilty that He was the one person that showed me consistent love, and I haven’t even begun to start loving him back.

Starting tomorrow I am going to make that conscious effort to read the bible and prayer before I start my day. Hopefully one day it becomes a necessity rather than a forced habit.