Tag: life

Unscripted

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My whole life has been on the principle of “Let’s wing it!”. Ironically, I have attended so many sessions that were around planning and organizing to achieve future goals. However, I still have not learnt the art of setting goals and achieving them.

If there was a biography, the whole book would talk about how without any sort of planning and fore thought I have taken up the most biggest challenges of my life.

Despite all odds, I have attained what had I set out to. Meticulous planning, Dream boards, Goal setting may work for others but for me, “unplanned” works best.

I may not have anything written down and I may ended up taking longer than required, but I get there. Cheers to the ones that have no script to follow!

Daily writing prompt
If there was a biography about you, what would the title be?
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Recollections of the Past

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When we are kids we always are busy. Always doing something or the other.

As a kid I loved collecting stamps and coins but with the relocating I lost some so I has to let it go. I loved writing down the lyrics to my favorite songs. I also made activity books by cutting up the crossword puzzles and comic strips from the newspaper. Oh and makeup! I think all kids at some put loved being a make up artist.

But there are some that I have continued doing or restarted recently. I still enjoying making small drawings once in a while or painting or some sort of art. The one consistent thing over the years has been writing and I am so glad I never let that go.

Daily writing prompt
Are there any activities or hobbies you’ve outgrown or lost interest in over time?
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Sweet Tooth

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I believe with all my heart that I like most kids loved all kinds of candy. As I grew up though I started to loose my interest of most kind of candies.

There are however a few of them that have continued to hold a place in my heart. Kit Kat is my forever favorite! I simply love the Hazelnut chocolate flavor. I know there are other chocolates with the same taste but those wafer covered chocolates will always be my first choice.

I also love the Heartbeat candies.. Especially the purple colored ones. I have not eaten them in a long time but I still have the memory of the taste and it is just amazing.

I am not sure it would be considered as a candy. But when talking about my favorite sweet food item, Loacker cube wafers cannot be excluded. I could eat a whole bag of it at one go. Even though now I don’t prefer having a lot of candies, I still I could binge eat them today.

All these are stuff I have been having since my childhood so I guess they are part of my core memories. I can just close my eyes and imagine their taste.

Daily writing prompt
What’s your favorite candy?
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It was on Me…

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Each time we fought you got hurt but the scars were left on my heart,
Each time we shared secrets you were relieved but I was always burdened.
Each time we consoled each other you recovered but I sank further in,
Each time I tried never to be the same I always failed and never did really change,
Each time you shed tears some fell from mine but I never let you notice,
Each time I fell I tried to get up on my own as I did not wan to be an obstacle in your way,

In your happiness I was happy but when I was sad no one cared,
I thought of you as my driving force for living,
As days went by I was no more part of your life,
When the words you spoke made me sad I hid the tears that fell from my eyes for which I always regret,
I once was an open book but as time passed I closed up myself,
I never told you what you said hurt me but hoped you would realize but never did,
I waited and waited for you to notice but you showed no signs of it,

So I accept it was my mistake,
I hurt you, I made you cry but I hoped you would always remain mine,
But now I know your happiness is not with me,
I just want to say I am sorry,
I can’t say anything else because you were and are my everything,
I am sorry for everything I have have said and done,
Please forgive me if you can and hope that you will give a place in a corner of your life again.

Making a Habit

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I am a serial procrastinator. I sometimes astonish myself at the level of laziness I have. I can go days achieving absolutely nothing in life. It’s not because I don’t have goals for myself. I do. I noticed that the fervor that I have when I am in a particular moment does not replicate when the time to actually works towards it comes around.

I accounted everything to laziness and that everything in life came to me easy and that I did not want to strive for it. But then like most non medical professionals I sought to find my answers on the internet.

Apparently, procrastination is a disruptive mental health issue. I don’t have a great general knowledge but sometimes I like reading about certain topics. So, I researched a little further to understand the cause and how to get better. My experience with depression has made me realize that you may not be able to avoid situations completely but you can always manage the impact of it.

There were few things that I could relate to with the causes : Perfectionism and Disconnection from the Future.

I needed things to be just right. It can’t be done as “Not so bad”. It has to be of the level that it garners appreciation on the efforts. So, when I did not meet my expectations I gave up. 

Future, Hopes and Dreams. I had given up on it all. I felt that there was no point. I had nothing worth fighting for.

Today, I am trying again. I am going to make good habits of things I want to get done. I need to force myself to do it every day till my body learns that it needs to do it. Hopefully, soon I will make constant steady seps to my goals.
I have completed month 1 of writing my blog and learning a new language. Hopefully, by the end of this year I will have a set of 10 to 12 habits than will bring me closer to my goals.

Breathe Again

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Since I have missed on a couple of the daily prompts guess now onwards will be the challenge to continue writing everyday.

It seemed appropriate to start with why I started the blog. Initially, it was just about a social media presence. I restarted my blog when I had a complete reset. I realized that though in daily life I am quiet silent I had a lot to say. I chose to stay alone because I felt that no one could understand me. Then, I started writing poems as a way to manage my emotions, fear.. Sometimes when I read them over I feel that those words have absorbed the pain.

I hope that maybe someone out there can read and realize that suffocating feeling happens to many. And most of them if not all choose to bear it in silence so that the people they love don’t feel their pain.

I hope that my little insignificant blog would help them to remember to keep breathing. It may hurt bad for sometime but slowly you learn to find a way to smile despite that. You don’t bury the pain away, but rather acknowledge it. You learn to breathe again!

Certificates to be stored away

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I have gone to a business school and personally I don’t think it added to my professional capability in any way. I took a break from school to work and earn enough to go to college hoping that once I have a degree it would make me better at my job.

Fast forward, after completing my graduation and working for some years, I figured out that it was never about what was taught in the four walls of the lecture hall or the high GPA. It was always about how you as an individual figured things out. I apply about 5 % of what I learnt at my workplace. Everything else that I do is about trial and error.

My parents say a child never knows the flame can burn unless they actually touch it and feel the heat. Experiences is what makes one successful. I am extremely thankful for my experiences that has helped me grow.

I have learnt that some days even when you are right you would have to wait to be right. I learnt that anyone can have an education but only few get knowledge. I learnt that sometimes working in silence is the most offensive response you can give. And most importantly. that knowledge has to be shared without the fear of someone getting ahead.

As far as my degrees go, they are locked away somewhere in the bottom drawer of my cabinet. They gather dust and age serving as reminders that how the importance of certain things keep changing over time.

So, to all the students out there get your degrees, you may not come in first in college and that is okay. A degree does not define you, your personality and attitude does and you should never forget to build and improve on that.

Bloganuary writing prompt
What colleges have you attended?
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Still a Mystery to Me

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Mission simply put would be the reason of one’s existence. When I was young I really never paid heed to the more philosophical aspects of life. One would think, the older you get one ends up finally understanding what is their life’s purpose. I guess I still have not got around to it.

I think presently I am just picking up my broken pieces and gluing them back together. Today, my only mission if you would have it is to be happy. Not the kind of fleeting happiness but to have the kind of happiness that lasts and that I can share. I may not have a larger purpose of my life yet but on a generic terms it would probably be not to be negative. Everything else I should be able to achieve without the constant nagging in my mind.

It is never to late I still have time to find my life’s purpose. Hopefully sooner than later.

Bloganuary writing prompt
What is your mission?
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Let’s run the Other Way

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Not to fall into the typical cliché that most girls don’t like sports. I really wish that I was good at any sports. However, as fate would have it I am on one the most clumsiest person in the world. I always say this to people “Show me a level ground and I will trip on it.” It is not intentional though. I really try but seems like my body just does not want to listen to my brain.

I do enjoy watching sports though tennis, badminton, football, cricket and so on. There is one kind of sport that some people would disagree is a sport, which is Figure Skating. I just love watching how the skaters glide on that ice to the rhythm. It seems effortless but only the people who actually are in that position know the difficulty of it. It is just mesmerizing for me to watch.

As far as me ever playing a sport, it seems like an impossible scenario. But, it never has nor will it ever in future stop me from enjoying the occasional joy I get from watching it on TV.

Bloganuary writing prompt
What are your favorite sports to watch and play?
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Worlds yet to Explore

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Reading to me has also being a gateway into something beyond reality. When everything seems bleak around me picking up a book and turning those few pages makes everything fascinating again.

I love reading all kinds of books mysteries and thrillers in particular. But, the genre I have come to appreciate the most is “Magical Realism”. I enjoy the possibility of the existence of magic in the real world. I fantasize of being in a world where I could have magic too.

I have read most of the popular book series during the start of the bibliophile part of my life. But the most surprising one for me was the series “Dark Visions Trilogy” it may have been an older series but I simply loved it. Even today, I love to go back and read them when I get the chance.

When I am asked what I want to read the only answer I have to that is “If it’s a book that would disconnect me from the boring reality called life, I will read it!”.

Bloganuary writing prompt
What books do you want to read?
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