I am probably not the right person to answer this. People say you learn to handle things better over time, that practice makes you stronger. But in my case, the skill of dealing with negative thoughts has taken a downward trajectory. As a child, my approach was simple: I replaced negative thoughts with happy memories. That remains, to this day, the most effective tactic I’ve ever used. Since then, however, my strategies have spread like wildfire — often destructive rather than helpful.
Case in point: Strategy One — Compartmentalize and deal with it later. On the surface, this is a sound idea. I’ve learned to compartmentalize effectively, but the “deal with it later” part rarely happens. Instead, those compartments pile up. And there’s only so much space you can create before it all spills over, leading to an epic breakdown. I’ve had more than a few of those. You’d think I would have learned to process my bad thoughts at the right time, but that hasn’t been the case. Instead, I’ve scolded myself for being older now, telling myself I should simply be stronger.
Strategy Two — Analyzing the situation (or rather, overanalyzing). This one is even trickier. I start with the intention of figuring out what went wrong and how I can improve. But instead of constructive reflection, I turn cruelly critical. I list out, in excruciating detail, why I am the reason for everything wrong — not just in the situation, but in everything happening around me. That blame session drags on for days, until I’m mentally exhausted, and inevitably, another breakdown follows.
I don’t know if there’s a universally effective way to deal with negative emotions. I suspect it’s different for everyone. Some people probably use compartmentalizing and analyzing in healthy, productive ways. For me, though, the one thing that consistently works is writing. Whenever I feel overwhelmed, drowning in emotions, I grab a random piece of paper and pen and write it all down. The result is often depressing poems, but by the end, I feel lighter — as though a weight has lifted from my shoulders. Writing doesn’t solve the situation, but it acknowledges my feelings. And that acknowledgment makes all the difference.
