Everchanging View

Daily writing prompt
How have your political views changed over time?

Viewpoints always change. Atleast this holds true for me.

Politics was something I never paid much heed to. It was just too complicated. I believed in what I saw and heard and did not question anything.

But as I matured, those assumptions were challenged multiple times. I started noticing that nothing was ever as it seemed. The deeper I looked into issues, the more contradictions I discovered. Ideas I once thought were unquestionably right were quite different than what they seemed.

My opinions began to sway, sometimes leaning one way, then shifting to another. At first, I saw this as indecision. But over time, I realized that my understanding of the situations were getting better.

Changing viewpoints isn’t a weakness. It means you’re willing to try to understand the perplexing circumstances and admit when you need to change your perspective. My core principles like fairness and accountability have never changed but maybe the paths to it are open to debate.

In the end, I’ve learned that confidence doesn’t come from being stubborn. Rather, it comes from asking questions and understanding different aspects of the same situation.

Day 20: Family Time

Today my sister came over with the kids and are staying over night. It’s true what people say when kids are there in a home it has life. My nephews are like little tornadoes. Everything they do is with a bang. There is nothing that can be done in silence. I sat back and let the chaos just engulf me.

Once they tuckered out and was put to sleep was when other thoughts came to my mind. My sister and I sat for hours just talking to our mom. We spoke about school projects that we did and then dad re-did because he just wanted to make it better. We spoke about my girl guide phase which my mom seemed to have forgotten. I took the chance to ask the ever prevailing question of “who is the favorite?”, to which she replies I love lefty and right. We spoke about many other things which was more of reminiscing than active conversation. It felt good.

Today was a busy day but all I can remember was that the day was amazing!

So much so that, I hit save and went to bed instead of hitting post.

Day 19: Holding On through the Pain

Today I woke up with the pain from yesterday. Even with the pain I tried to get a little things done. The organizing that I started earlier and had to stop because I was exhausted, I did a little more today. I did have to stop it in between again cause the pain started getting a little worse.

I started watching a new K-drama today. It hit a little close to home. I went to a state of panic. I felt like I could not breathe. I thought I was over this feeling. The feeling of dread, the feeling of like someone was choking the air out of my lungs. I knew I was spiraling. I had to take a minute to compose myself. I stopped watching the series and started focusing on my breathing, to center myself. It did not stop the feeling completely. It is there at the back of my mind like a numb pain.

I guess I thought that I was over it. I thought that I had taken control of my life. But it seems that just like my body, my mind and my heart is taking time to heal. The hits have stopped but the old scars are still haunting me.

I do not know how long it is going to take but I am going to keep holding on. One more step towards my healing. Breathe and keep going.

One that I can Drive

Daily writing prompt
What is your all time favorite automobile?

For many people, cars are a passion. They know about the engine, latest features, and know exactly why a car would be good for them. For me though, a car is simply a mode of transport. I do not have a personal preference as far as the car is concerned, but the places it can take me is something that I would focus on.

I don’t need a flashy car, what matters most is good mileage. If it gets me from point A to point B without breaking down or giving me any grief I am good.

I prefer cars where I can see clearly over the dashboard and reach the pedals easily. While I used to enjoy the control of a manual stick, the traffic en route to work have made me lean toward the convenience of an automatic instead.

For me, the real thrill isn’t in the car itself but in the journeys in it. If there’s one feature that adds extra joy, it’s a good stereo system.

At the end of the day, I would want a car to use rather than a car to own.

Day 17: Disconnecting from Work

I am on leave starting today. I do not know what to do. I feel a little lost. With the toxicity not constantly pounding my brain its like I an empty.

I woke up and started organizing, deep cleaning just to keep myself occupied. The fact that my pace is much slower than usual does not help. I should be thankful though, I am moving mush more than I could a month back. I want to start taking the stairs maybe 5 to start with. I am a little worried that i am pushing myself too soon but I think i need to start somewhere.

I am also hoping to start driving the car again. Baby steps, one thing at a time. I need to keep reminding myself. Now that my health has made me realize the clock on life I want to do as much as possible. I do not want any regrets. I want to be better. I know there is a high possibility I might fall at sometime but I need to remember to stand back up.

Lets see what tomorrow will bring.

Hard Pass

Daily writing prompt
How much would you pay to go to the moon?

Survival is one of humanity’s most basic instincts. Perhaps that’s why the idea of traveling to the Moon first came into our minds. It was an escape from a planet that we have damaged.

Yet, I don’t see myself going to the Moon. Earth, with all its environmental challenges, is still my home.

To me, going to the Moon feels less like survival and more like luxury. And luxury has always made me uneasy. Coming from a middle-class background, excess feels strange—almost wasteful.

If I had the means, I wouldn’t spend it chasing the stars. I’d rather use it to lighten someone else’s burden. Money can buy happiness for some people and I would want to do that. That, to me, feels just right. Add to that the benefit of skipping the stress of space travel and risking becoming a ball of fire in the sky.

In the end, the Moon may be fascinating, but Earth is irreplaceable. And perhaps the greatest adventure isn’t in leaving our planet—it’s in learning how to care for it, and for each other.

Day 16: Reboot

It was a long time since I actually enjoyed my work. I used to put music on and then buckle down. I swiftly completed my assigned tasks for the day. However, somewhere along the past 2 years, I lost that part of me.

I got my Spotify wrapped today, and I had not listened to any music for the past 8 months. To me, it was all noise. I never realized what all was stolen from me. How did I let it get this bad? I was losing myself and I did not even realize it. Today, as I opened my favorite playlist and set it to play, it bought back good memories.

It was a good change. People say that one should not go back to old habits but this was a good old habit. I finished my work. For the first time in a long time, I felt satisfied as I closed my laptop.

I made it another day! 🙂

Not on a Menu

Daily writing prompt
What food would you say is your specialty?

I am not a great cook and neither do I have a good flavor palate. I do like cooking though.

I think cooking is my blissful time. I just zone out and every single worry in my mind flies away. I started my cooking with baking. I like baking cookies, cakes and muffins. I started baking because I did not like the store bought cookies or cakes. They were too sweet for my taste. So I baked for the first time, a chocolate cake with coffee extracts for a little bitter taste. I liked it. So I kept trying my hand in baking. A new recipe every year.

As far as actual cooking goes, I can cook everyday meals. However, when it comes to new cuisine, Chinese was my first attempt. The first time around the rice was not cooked and the spices and sauces ratio was totally off. I kept at it though and after multiple tries I made a decent Egg fried rice. After that, I tried Mexican, Thai, and Indian cuisines. My initial attempts were royal failures, but I have improved since then.

If you were to ask about my specialty, it would be cuisines that are a little on the spicy side. I do not understand most other flavors but spiciness is something that I can identify easily. So I mostly deviate to such cuisines.

I am unsure if I will ever have a specialty. I think my specialty is making food that my family likes. For now, it is enough.

Day 15: A Christmas Carol

Today we had Christmas Carols at Church. My nephews sang in the choir. They looked so cute in their uniforms. Kids are always fun to watch. Their expressions and their actions always bring a smile to faces.

On the other hand, I did a major de-cluttering. I went through all my drawers and rearranged stuff where they had to go. I also removed stuff that were just lying about without any purpose. I also when through my box of memories and found that somethings in there no longer invoked any memories. I think with age perspectives changes. I think I used to dump things in the box because it was something I had as a kid. This time around, I removed some old stuff and put in some new ones.

The pain in my shoulders are flaring up as I sit at me desk. Walking around was a little bit more painful today. Still, today was a good day!

My Hero

Daily writing prompt
Describe a man who has positively impacted your life.

When I think of a man who has positively impacted my life I would think of my father. He gave me everything he could despite his struggles. He always wanted me to have better life than he did. He hid his pain to give me the best. My father will always be my first hero.

I have had friends who have taken care of me and protected me. They have stood by me when I felt alone. They sat with me when I was broken and when I was silent they have pulled me back to life.

When I first read the prompt, I could only think of the one who hurt me… who broke me. I just could not bring myself to write anything positive. It took me sometime to remember that I have had good men in my life. The actions of one person should not tarnish the good things the other have done for me.

I am thankful that I have met more good men than the bad ones. Men may not understand women easily. But some of them do take the time to just listen. And most of the time just listening is enough for a women to feel valued.